Life Awakening

AWAKEN FROM LIFE is about discovering who you are and about defining your true self so you can seize the helm of your life! This book is changing lives. Let it change yours!

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Story of Hope Love Destiny

If you like inspirational memoirs about the power of hope, or just want to read a candid expose of my previously misaligned life, FINE…LY: My Story of Hope, Love, and Destiny is the book for you!! It’s a page turner!!

Available in Paperback or as an E-Book

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This memoir written by a woman author tells a compelling, impactful true life story about hope and love, and how she found her destiny. An excellent book for women!



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Inspiring Authors Message

Author, Randi G. Fine 

Living Life to the Fullest

Inspirational Author’s Message

The most difficult people in our lives end up being our greatest teachers.   The hurdles they place before us and the challenges they present to us are only lessons that we must learn for our greater good.   Think of the oyster…without the irritating grain of sand there would be no pearl. ~ Randi G. Fine

We all experience times of joy and times of suffering as we move through our lives. Life is a breeze during the happy times; we get to sit back, relax, and enjoy the ride. But we must ask ourselves how good joy would feel if we had no adversity to contrast it? The phrase, “nobody said life was easy,” was coined with good reason. The truth is, life is hard work…but the beauty of life is that it has many facets.  We are constantly challenged to learn and grow.  And as we rise to those challenges we become stronger, wiser and better human beings. The universe holds all the answers we will ever need. It’s all there for the taking if we watch, listen, and trust our intuition. I invite you to follow me on my journey as I explore the many paths to happiness, and the many avenues that will lead us to living life to the fullest. I wish you serenity and joy in your life. ~ Randi


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Breaking Free from Your Narcissistic Personality Disorder Parent

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How to Break Free from a Parent’s Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Article Written by Amy Eden, AKA “One Angry Daughter”

This is the third post in a four-part series by One Angry Daughter, who shares her experience and resources for Adult Children of Narcissists on her blog, What’s Next?

Due to all the strong emotions attached to the NPD-inflicted loved one, the first instinct is to try to save the relationship.

A person involved with a narcissist must realize there is not a healthy relationship to save. There is a reason that narcissists are described as “emotional vampires” – they literally feed off of your empathy because they are devoid of any themselves.  Taking action to protect your emotional well being from their harsh attacks, means they can not victimize you any longer.

Making the decision to stop enduring the abuse can invoke many emotions.  Personally I was scared of the loss of the relationship and angry that I had to be the only one working towards change.  It was hard for me to let go of the fantasy of having one big happy extended family that could come together and share in the birth of my son and all the events that were to come. Beyond the painful emotions, there is a sense of renewal and peace once you realize it is acceptable and healthy for you to expect mutual respect in relationships, to have boundaries, and to institute your own moral compass.

If you are involved with a narcissist – whether it is with a parent, spouse or friend – you have the power to stop the abusive relationship.  This change does not happen overnight.  It takes a series of small investment in changes that pay out over time with self confidence and healthier relationships.

The four areas of concentration that continue to help me move towards this goal are:

Education

Building a Support System

Setting Boundaries

Adjusting to a New Normal

#1 EDUCATION

Learning about Narcissistic Personality Disorder was a life-changing event for me.  The internal messages I had about myself, shaped by my childhood, were challenged.  I learned that I was not a person with poor intentions, overly selfish, too dramatic or always wrong. I learned that my family dynamic did not support healthy shows of emotion or independence since such shows threatened the fragile and unhealthy family system in which we lived.

Education took three forms in my experience.

Education – Phase One

The first was learning the definition and symptoms of NPD.  In understanding the disorder, you get insight into how narcissistic people process thoughts and the tools they use to manipulate those around them.  This is useful reading for those of us who have a narcissistic parent. We typically only understand the dysfunctional relationship and are just discovering it is not OK. As such, we require help knowing what to look for so we can avoid similar relationships in the future.

Narcissism belongs to the Cluster B (dramatic, emotional or erratic) personality disorders as described by the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-IV-TR) published by the American Psychiatric Association.  Many of these disorders share similar traits and it is possible for an individual’s behavior to closely relate to more than one in the group.  For that reason, it is also useful to educate yourself on the other disorders:

Antisocial

Borderline

Histrionic

It is easy to get stuck in this phase of education because validation feels good.  However, the point of the journey is to make a positive change in you.  No amount of reading will help you to completely pinpoint what makes your narcissist tick.  NPD is likely to be one small piece of the equation as there could be other mental health or addiction issues in play.

Read just enough to gain enough to gain confidence that you are making a healthy decision by changing the relationship with the narcissist.

Education – Phase Two

The second phase of education involves how to interact with the narcissistic person going forward.  Healthy people try to use reason and compromise. The narcissist only uses tactics that preserve their false self. In fact, your use of logic, explaining your feelings and an expression of your desire to change may only prove to do one thing:  make the narcissist a better narcissist. They play dirty and the last thing you want to do is give them ammunition for their drama gun which has you fixed in its sights.

The tactics for dealing with someone who has NPD will include:

Limiting contact

Setting boundaries

Detaching emotionally

Education – Phase Three

The third phase is a desire to cultivate your self confidence and develop your own set of standards.  In this phase, you disable the narcissist (or any person) from triggering you emotionally in a negative way.  When I was ready for this step, I felt it indicated a healthy transition.  I had become less concerned about NPD and more concerned about how I was going to obtain and maintain mental health and foster healthy relationships.  This is the knowledge that hands you the keys to your own life – taking the abusive control away from your narcissist.  If you are a parent, these are the changes that help ensure you prevent passing damaging behavior on to another generation.

#2 BUILDING A SUPPORT SYSTEM  

One of the ways an abusive dynamics keep you from changing is by making you feel damaged and isolated.  The truth is, no matter what your family history, there are many people who can relate to at least part of it.  Finding these connections will help fortify your resolve to change and demand healthy, respectful relationships.

Support can come in many forms:

Spouse

Other family members

Friends

Therapist

Virtually – through online support groups.

Seek people who are empathic – so that even if they have not experienced a narcissistic relationship first hand, they are willing to try to understand and support you.  If anyone is making you feel guilty that you haven’t done enough to smooth things over with someone you believe to have NPD – do not discuss the situation with them again.   Your support system should make you feel safe and feed to express all of your emotions.

When finding support within your family, tread lightly.  Your narcissist likes to divide and conquer by bad mouthing and projecting.  It is essential it does not appear you are doing the same thing.  Until you know you can trust a family member to understand what you are going through, do not bring up the subject of NPD.  Concentrate on foster relationships with relatives independent of your narcissistic parent.  If a well meaning relative want to help, make it clear that you do not want them to get in the middle to try to smooth things over.  The damaged relationship can only be resolve by you and the NPD person if both parties are willing.

A relative who understands the narcissist is an asset.  Reaching out to them can re-enforce the fact that your experience with your self absorbed relation is not normal.  Family members have insight into the narcissist’s history and may be able to offer you clues as to the origin of the disorder.  This will help you realize that you are not to blame, but that the narcissistic person is too disordered to be an equal partner in your relationship.

When seeking out a therapist, approach it like starting a new relationship.  Therapists are human being just like the rest of us, with their own belief systems, moral codes and personality quirks.  If you feel like the therapist is pushing you down a path you do not agree with, seek out another.  Look for a professional who has knowledge of personality disorders and family therapy.  A good therapist will help you to feel empowered.

#3 SETTING BOUNDARIES

I went to therapy with the hopes I could learn some magic language to get through to my mother that I was grown up and living my own life.  I wanted her to know that I did not expect her to be pleased with all my decisions, but that she would need to respect that they were mine to make.  I did not want to keep pushing her away, but something in our relationship needed to change so we could move forward in a healthier direction.  I wanted an adult relationship with my mother.

What I really was searching for was very obtainable – I needed to know how to set boundaries.  Growing up, we lived without healthy boundaries, so when it came time for me to define my own, it was difficult. A simple way to think of a boundary is like a force field around you physically and emotionally that protects your personal values.  Effective boundaries make you feel safe in relationships.  It keeps what is important to you close and what is damaging at a distance.

Enforcing your boundaries will mean being able to say “no” effectively.  Saying no was really hard for me because it is my nature not to want to disappoint others – which is a feeling shared by many Adult Children of Narcissist (ACON).  Narcissistic parents react strongly when their children say no, feeling like they were wrongly denied. We may feel as if everyone will treat us the same way a narcissistic parent did and feel this need to please everyone by saying “yes”.  This destructive behavior will result in becoming emotionally drained and you will not have the energy to focus on the things that are important to you.  It is ok to say “no” to enforce your boundaries – keeping the good in and the bad out.

People who have a healthy sense of self normally do not need to be reminded of boundaries.  People who have empathy are able to read people and more importantly, listen to people and adjust their behavior accordingly.  Narcissists do not have these capacities and will trample any personal boundaries you have to control the situation.  When dealing with someone who has NPD you need to be painfully explicit about your boundaries and stand your ground to enforce them.  Narcissists are bullies. Backing down after setting boundaries is one of the most damaging things you can do as it shows the narcissist your boundaries are easily broken.

Communicate your boundaries to the narcissist in a medium that makes you feel safe and gives you the best chance of being heard.  Some people choose to do this face to face, often with a spouse or other support person presents.  Others feel more comfortable over the phone.  Still others, me included, feel more comfortable expressing ourselves in writing. Anytime I had tried to voice disagreement with my mom in person or over the phone, it resulted in her yelling over me.  I react strongly to that behavior by backing down.  I needed to express my feelings in a medium that made me feel strong.  Everybody is different, but make sure you are stating your boundaries in a way that makes you feel confident.

#4 ADJUSTING TO THE CHANGE

The relationship will change after boundaries are set.  The narcissist may intrude more forcefully, or withdraw completely from your life.  You may choose to limit or terminate contact, either temporarily or permanently.  Or you may choose to keep the narcissist in their life, but are diligent about enforcing boundaries again and calling abusive behavior out as unacceptable.

There will be times of enormous guilt, feeling like you were wrong to stand up for yourself.  You may find yourself thinking there was a better way to maintain the relationship.  Over time, I came to realize that yes, maybe I could have handled things differently, but I wasn’t holding my mom accountable to the same standard.  There were things she could have done better as well.  I had to forgive myself for not knowing what I didn’t know, and accept that my mother has a disorder that is blocking our path to a healthy relationship.

As you adjust to the change, be kind to yourself and respectful of the strong emotions that come your way.  Many mourn the loss of the idealized relationship we had with the narcissist as if that person had died.

It is not unusual to find your self going through (sometimes multiple times) the five stages of grief:

Denial

Anger

Bargaining

Depression

Acceptance

Never think that your emotions are silly or uncalled for.  If you feel like crying, cry.  If you are angry, be angry.  However, make sure you do not become consumed in the feeling.  Take time to understand the root cause of the emotion and look for ways to improve the situation so that you can move on to more positive and fulfilling experiences.  If you need help, reach out to your support system or therapist.

Seek out experiences that make you feel good about yourself.  They can be creative outlets like writing or painting.  Treat your body right by eating nutritiously and exercising.  Reconnect or redefine your spirituality.  Do things that make you feel in control, such as taking a self defense course (I highly recommend this).  Nurture relationships that are mutually respectful and distance your self from the ones that are not.  These healthy activities allow you to focus on the good in your life, while taking focus away from what was toxic.

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Coping With Holiday Stress and Depression

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Stress, Depression and the Holidays: Tips for Coping

Stress and depression can ruin your holidays and hurt your health. Being realistic, planning ahead and seeking support can help ward off stress and depression.

By Mayo Clinic Staff

The holiday season often brings unwelcome guests — stress and depression. And it’s no wonder. The holidays present a dizzying array of demands — parties, shopping, baking, cleaning and entertaining, to name just a few.

But with some practical tips, you can minimize the stress that accompanies the holidays. You may even end up enjoying the holidays more than you thought you would.

Tips to prevent holiday stress and depression

When stress is at its peak, it’s hard to stop and regroup. Try to prevent stress and depression in the first place, especially if the holidays have taken an emotional toll on you in the past.

    1. Acknowledge your feelings. If someone close to you has recently died or you can’t be with loved ones, realize that it’s normal to feel sadness and grief. It’s OK to take time to cry or express your feelings. You can’t force yourself to be happy just because it’s the holiday season.
    2. Reach out. If you feel lonely or isolated, seek out community, religious or other social events. They can offer support and companionship. Volunteering your time to help others also is a good way to lift your spirits and broaden your friendships.
    3. Be realistic. The holidays don’t have to be perfect or just like last year. As families change and grow, traditions and rituals often change as well. Choose a few to hold on to, and be open to creating new ones. For example, if your adult children can’t come to your house, find new ways to celebrate together, such as sharing pictures, emails or videos.
    4. Set aside differences. Try to accept family members and friends as they are, even if they don’t live up to all of your expectations. Set aside grievances until a more appropriate time for discussion. And be understanding if others get upset or distressed when something goes awry. Chances are they’re feeling the effects of holiday stress and depression, too.
    5. Stick to a budget. Before you go gift and food shopping, decide how much money you can afford to spend. Then stick to your budget. Don’t try to buy happiness with an avalanche of gifts.

Try these alternatives:

    • Donate to a charity in someone’s name.
    • Give homemade gifts.
    • Start a family gift exchange.
  1. Plan ahead. Set aside specific days for shopping, baking, visiting friends and other activities. Plan your menus and then make your shopping list. That’ll help prevent last-minute scrambling to buy forgotten ingredients. And make sure to line up help for party prep and cleanup.
  2. Learn to say no. Saying yes when you should say no can leave you feeling resentful and overwhelmed. Friends and colleagues will understand if you can’t participate in every project or activity. If it’s not possible to say no when your boss asks you to work overtime, try to remove something else from your agenda to make up for the lost time.
  3. Don’t abandon healthy habits. Don’t let the holidays become a free-for-all. Overindulgence only adds to your stress and guilt.Try these suggestions:
    • Have a healthy snack before holiday parties so that you don’t go overboard on sweets, cheese or drinks.
    • Get plenty of sleep.
    • Incorporate regular physical activity into each day.
  4. Take a breather. Make some time for yourself. Spending just 15 minutes alone, without distractions, may refresh you enough to handle everything you need to do. Find something that reduces stress by clearing your mind, slowing your breathing and restoring inner calm.Some options may include:
    • Taking a walk at night and stargazing.
    • Listening to soothing music.
    • Getting a massage.
    • Reading a book.
  5. Seek professional help if you need it. Despite your best efforts, you may find yourself feeling persistently sad or anxious, plagued by physical complaints, unable to sleep, irritable and hopeless, and unable to face routine chores. If these feelings last for a while, talk to your doctor or a mental health professional.

Take control of the holidays

Don’t let the holidays become something you dread. Instead, take steps to prevent the stress and depression that can descend during the holidays. Learn to recognize your holiday triggers, such as financial pressures or personal demands, so you can combat them before they lead to a meltdown. With a little planning and some positive thinking, you can find peace and joy during the holidays.

 This holiday video is guaranteed to make you smile!

Peanuts Christmas Dance in New York City

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Encouragement Picture Quote

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affirmation503Encouraging Quote

Sometimes in life you have to give yourself what you wish you could get from somebody else. ~Dr. Phil McGraw~

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How Colors Reflect Your Personality

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Colors as a Reflection of Human Nature

By

Colors play a strong role in many indigenous cultures, each of the human chakra energy centers vibrates and responds to a different color, and many people with near-death experiences recall indescribable colors that we are unable to see within our current light frequency. There are many theories on why we are attracted to specific colors and what colors mean spiritually.

The color of your aura and the colors you gravitate to in everyday life, even the color of your house or your car, can tell a lot about you. Below are six colors and what they could potentially mean about human nature.

colors



Favorite Color Reveals Personality Type

By  on Weekly News

Your favorite color reveals your character, says a pioneer in the field of color study.

Faber Birren, author of 24 books about color, said, “It is possible to make fairly accurate judgments about the meaning of color preferences and their revelations of personality traits.”

Here is a color test to find out factors of your personality you may never before has suspected.

Simply choose your overall favorite color from the nine featured here – and read the results below;

RED – This is the color of extroversion, of a person with desire, appetite, a will to live life fully. You are somewhat aggressive, impulsive, perhaps athletic, surely quick to release your feelings and emotions. You have many ups and downs in your feelings.

To you, life is meant to be happy, and when it isn’t, you are  confused and upset. You hate monotony, are quick to judge people, quick to form opinions and boldly express them.

ORANGE – Generally you are good-natured, likable and social, you make friends easily, with an easy smile and a talent for small talk.

Chances are better than even that you will not marry, and if you do, your marriage will be one of light affection. You prefer friendliness and companionship to adoration. A natural born politician, you shine at any occupation in which you meet groups of people. You seldom indulge in serious thought or severe discipline.

YELLOW – You have great expectations and diligently seek self-fulfillment. Yellow is the hue of idealism – you have a superior mind and you use it. Your manner may be aloof, but you are not shy. You may occasionally feel an awkward moment, but you never get rattled.

In many respects you are a longer. You are good at formulating plans, but may not be energetic enough to carry them out. You think things through clearly, are logical and consistent.

GREEN - You are sure to be constant in your ways, persevering, sensible and respectable. You have a good balance. Outspoken, with a love of freedom, those who like green are generally social and live in a good neighborhood, have many friends and belong to social organizations. You tend to resist change. You like parties and you like to eat – and may usually be on a diet.

Your social standing, financial position and reputation are all of top importance to you. You constantly seek affirmation of companionship and affection.

BLUE-GREEN – A fastidious person, you have good taste, dress well and probably are a connoisseur of good food and wine. You are poised and apparently self-controlled though inside you may feel tense. You would perish without love and admiration.

The man who likes blue-green may be conceited, sophisticated, well-groomed, witty and sarcastic. The woman who likes this hue has a remarkable sense of fashion, is vain, mysterious – and ever charming, with exception appeal to men.

BLUE – You want a serene world and a calm life and you want your affairs to be orderly and neat. An introvert, you are deliberate, introspective, but perhaps not too intellectual. Steady and a hard worker, you will probably be successful and make a lot of money.

Though you have a tendency to be egotistical and opinionated, you know how to accept responsibility and obligation. You are sensitive to others and have a secure hold on your emotions.

PURPLE – Two types of people like purple. The first is sensitive, with deep insight, temperamental and creative with meaningful things to do and passionate devotion to them. The second type admires artists, mystics and unique people. This type feels there should be gentility, courtesy and affection everywhere, and no war, disease or poverty.

Some lovers of purple are charming and adoring patrons of the arts and others are true artists themselves.

BROWN – You are steady in your ways, persistent and tenacious. Conscientious in all you do, you are also obstinate and more likely to accept than to give. You also tend to be frugal. But you have an ageless quality and never seem to change.

Though your brain is not lightning quick, you do have the ability to think things through. You assume responsibilities, are shrewd, rational and sensible. You have no time for anything fanciful, but you are very sensuous.

PINK – Two types of people like pink – the person who has led a very sheltered life and the person who, grown older, seeks to regain the innocence of childhood. In pink there is affection, delicacy and an inner conviction, often naive, that life should be a gentle affair devoid of trials and tribulations.

Younger people who like pink sometimes hold to the illusion that life should be constantly romantic and generous. Pink is a gentle form of red , and somewhat vain – commonly preferred among woman in the upper or middle class.

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Beautiful Holiday Gifts

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Randi’s Handcrafted Jewelry Boutique

RaFi Designs of Ft. Lauderdale

Since 2009

Affordable and Unique Handmade Jewelry

Gifts That Make a Lasting Impression

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Relationship Challenges of Emotional Empaths and Highly Sensitive People

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Secrets for Sensitive People: Why Emotional Empaths Stay Lonely

Tips for Sensitive People to Feel at Ease in a Relationship

 Published on February 8, 2011 by Judith Orloff, M.D. in Emotional Freedom

Loneliness gets to some more than others. But why it hangs on isn’t always apparent when read by traditional medical eyes. In my medical practice and workshops I’ve been struck by how many sensitive, empathic people who I call “emotional empaths” come to me, lonely, wanting a romantic partner, yet remaining single for years. Or else they’re in relationships but feel constantly fatigued and overwhelmed. The reason isn’t simply that “there aren’t enough emotionally available people out there,” nor is their burnout “neurotic.” Personally and professionally, I’ve discovered that something more is going on.

Emotional empaths are a species unto themselves. Whereas others may thrive on the togetherness of being a couple, for empaths like me, too much togetherness can be difficult, may cause us to bolt. Why? We tend to intuit and absorb our partner’s energy, and become overloaded, anxious, or exhausted when we don’t have time to decompress in our own space. We’re super-responders; our sensory experience of relationship is the equivalent of feeling objects with fifty fingers instead of five. Energetically sensitive people unknowingly avoid romantic partnership because deep down they’re afraid of getting engulfed. Or else, they feel engulfed when coupled, a nerve-wracking, constrictive way to live. If this isn’t understood, empaths can stay perpetually lonely; we want companionship, but, paradoxically, it doesn’t feel safe.

For emotional empaths to be at ease in a relationship, the traditional paradigm for coupling must be redefined. Most of all, this means asserting your personal space needs–the physical and time limits you set with someone so you don’t feel they’re on top of you. Empaths can’t fully experience emotional freedom with another until they do this. Your space needs can vary with your situation, upbringing, and culture. My ideal distance to keep in public is at least an arm’s length. In doctors’ waiting rooms I’ll pile my purse and folders on the seats beside me to keep others away. With friends it’s about half that. With a mate it’s variable. Sometimes it’s rapture being wrapped in his arms; later I may need to be in a room of my own, shut away. All of us have an invisible energetic border that sets a comfort level. Identifying and communicating yours will prevent you from being bled dry by others. Then intimacy can flourish, even if you’ve felt suffocated before.

If you’re an empath or if the ordinary expectations of coupledom don’t jibe with you practice the following tips.

Tips for empaths to feel at ease in a relationship:

Tip 1. What to say to a potential mate
As you’re getting to know someone, share that you’re a sensitive person, that you periodically need quiet time. The right partner will be understanding; the wrong person will put you down for being “overly sensitive,” won’t respect your need.

Tip 2. Clarify your preferred sleep style
Traditionally, partners sleep in the same bed. However, some empaths never get used to this, no matter how caring a mate. Nothing personal; they just like their own sleep space. Speak up about your preferences. Feeling trapped in bed with someone, not getting a good night’s rest, is torture. Energy fields blend during sleep, which can overstimulate empaths. So, discuss options with your mate. Because non-empaths may feel lonely sleeping alone, make compromises when possible.

Tip 3. Negotiate your square footage needs
You may be thrilled about your beloved until you live together. Experiment with creative living conditions so your home isn’t a prison. Breathing room is mandatory. Ask yourself, “What space arrangements are optimal?” Having an area to retreat to, even if it’s a closet? A room divider? Separate bathrooms? Separate houses? I prefer having my own bedroom/office to retreat to.

Tip 4. Travel wisely
Traveling with someone, you may want to have separate space too. If sharing a room is the only option, hanging a sheet as a room divider will help. “Out of sight” may make the heart grow fonder.

Tip 5. Take regular mini-breaks
Empaths require private downtime to regroup. Even a brief escape prevents emotional overload. Retreat for five minutes into the bathroom with the door shut. Take a stroll around the block. Read in a separate room.

In my medical practice, I’ve seen this creative approach to relationships save marriages and make ongoing intimacies feel safe, even for emotional empaths (of all ages) who’ve been lonely and haven’t had a long-term partner before. Once you’re able to articulate your needs, emotional freedom in your relationships is possible.

Judith Orloff MD is author of the New York Times bestseller Emotional Freedom: Liberate Yourself From Negative Emotions and Transform Your Life now available in paperback and upon which this article is based. Dr. Orloff synthesizes the pearls of traditional medicine with cutting edge knowledge of intuition and energy medicine. An Assistant Clinical Professor of Psychiatry at UCLA, she passionately believes that the future of medicine involves integrating all this wisom to achieve emotional freedom and total wellness. For Judith’s Emotional Freedom book tour schedule and more inspiration visit www.drjudithorloff.com.
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Opening Seven Sacred Chakras

Opening Seven Sacred Chakras

by Gary ‘Z’ McGee – Wakingtimes

“Meditation is nothing but withdrawing all the barriers; thoughts, emotions, sentiments, everything that builds a wall between you and existence. The moment they drop, you suddenly find yourself in tune with the whole; not only in tune, you really find you are the whole.” –Osho
“Remember you don’t meditate to get anything, but to get rid of things. We do it, not with desire, but with letting go. If you want anything, you won’t find it. You won’t be able to find it. But when your heart is ready, peace will come looking for you.” –Arjahn Chah

The seven chakras are an enigma to many people, but the more conscious we become of how energy moves through our body, the more we discover that which is healthy, superior, infinite, and unconditional within us. The more we meditate on this type of energy, the more we allow our personal frequency to resonate with the greater orchestra of the cosmos. And the more we allow our frequency to resonate, the more balance and health we will experience in our lives.

Opening the Earth Chakra:

“Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage.” –Anais Nin

This chakra, also known as the root chakra, deals with survival and is blocked by fear. In order to open this chakra we must be able to let go of fear so that it can go through the alchemical transformation into courage. The earth chakra doesn’t just ground us physically it also grounds us temporally by keeping us in the present moment. Those with open earth chakras tend to be healthier and more balanced than others. They tend to be less fearful and more centered. Those with closed earth chakras are often imbalanced and disconnected, and they tend to be fearful and lack in focus.

To open the earth chakra, focus meditation on the base of your spine. Imagine a bright red energy moving down your spine and branching down into the earth like the roots of a tree. Visualize yourself receiving the full bounty of the earth’s primordial energy. Relish in this most ancient of connections. Embrace your fear. Let go of your fear. Breathe the sacred breath of survival.

Opening the Water Chakra:

“Why do you stay in prison when the door is wide open?” –Rumi

This chakra, also known as the sacral chakra, deals with pleasure and is blocked by guilt. In order to open this chakra we must be able to release all blame and guilt. We must be able to forgive ourselves our past transgressions in order to delve fully into life’s many unique pleasures. Those with open water chakras tend to be full of wonder and awe for their connection to the greater cosmos. They tend to be more adaptable, happy, and are able to go with the flow of life. Those with closed water chakras are often confused and disoriented about their place in the world, and they tend to suffer from autoimmune deficiencies.

The water chakra is fairly easy to transform as it responds to emotional and creative self-expression. The moon planet is a very powerful symbol with this chakra, as it controls the moving “tides” of our inner-waters. Meditate on the naval area. Imagine your psychophysiological “fluids” flowing out into the cosmos like rivers into a mighty ocean. Visualize yourself moving with the “tide” of your body’s natural rhythm in balance with the greater cosmic waves of the universe. Let go of your guilt. Feel the sacred process of pleasure. Breathe.

Opening the Fire Chakra:

“There can be no transformation in the world outside unless there is transformation from within. It is our responsibility to bring about a radical transformation within ourselves.” –Krishnamurti

This chakra, also known as the navel chakra, deals with willpower and is blocked by shame. We must be able to let go of past letdowns and disappointments. Or, better yet, transform them into steppingstones toward higher awareness. We must embrace our insecurities and our doubts. Dance them into something worthwhile. Dance with the fire. If it burns us to ashes, then we will rise like a phoenix. Life is too short to live it second-guessing our authenticity. Those with open fire chakras tend to lead their lives with dynamism, power, and authority. Those with closed fire chakras tend to feel unworthy and they have a low self-esteem.

To open the fire chakra, focus meditation on the solar plexus. Imagine a bright yellow light spinning there, like a brilliant sun. Imagine it bathing you in healing light, burning away the shame and replacing it with a will toward healthy power. Notice how you feel as the benevolent power of the universe blesses you with a self-esteem and a confidence to engage the world like only you can. Let go of your shame. Embrace your willpower. Breathe.

Opening the Air Chakra:

“As we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people the right to do the same. As we are liberated from our fear, our presence automatically liberates others” –Marianne Williamson

This chakra, also known as the heart chakra, deals with love and is blocked by grief. We must be able to release our sadness and loss in order to transform our ego into soul. We must let the pain from loss flow away like water off a ducks back. Learning how to love is learning how to let others love is learning how to let go of the egos attachment to love. This is the secret of attaining happiness despite grief. Those with open air chakras tend to be filled with unconditional love for self and others, what the Buddhists call Mahakaruna “the Great Compassion.” Those with closed air chakras tend to experience poor circulation on the physical level, lack of empathy on the emotional level, and a lack of devotion on the spiritual level. They have trouble loving themselves, and they are paranoid and afraid to love others.

To open the air chakra, focus Meditation on your heart. Imagine a brilliant green light spinning there and emanating vibrant oxygen that connects you to all things. Feel this life-giving force invigorate and rejuvenate you. Imagine this connection nourishing your soul and healing your heart and skin. Touch is important with this chakra, so “feel” the cosmos pressing against your skin. “Feel” your skin absorbing the cosmos. Circulate with the Great Circulation. Let go of your grief. Allow love to wash over you and transform you into a being worthy of love and light. Breathe.

Opening the Sound Chakra:

“The mystical is not how the world is, but that it is.” –Ludwig Wittgenstein

This chakra, also known as the throat chakra, deals with truth and is blocked by lies. Honesty is very important with this chakra. It is essential that we be impeccable with our word. We must be able to release ourselves from whatever we might be in denial about, and accept who we truly are. Those with open sound chakras tend to be able to say what they mean and mean what they say. Their speech is uplifting and wise and they communicate clearly their intent. Those with closed sound chakras tend to experience poor communication on the physical level, codependency on the emotional level, unclear thoughts on the mental level, and insecurity on the spiritual level.

To open the sound chakra, focus meditation on your throat. Visualize a blue sun rising up from your Solar Plexus and moving into your throat. Imagine it washing over your vocal chords and emboldening divine expression. Let the Divine Breath to activate your vocal organs. Allow your numinous voice to resonate in the sacred ether. Let go of the lies you’ve been telling yourself. Embrace the truth. Breathe.

Opening the Light Chakra:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.” –Marianne Williamson

This chakra, also known as the third eye chakra, deals with insight and is blocked by illusion. The illusion of separation is the greatest illusion. It is essential that we understand this, and move past the illusion, in order to actualize the Self in accordance with greater cosmic frequencies. The majority of people are unable to open this chakra. Those with open light chakras tend to see themselves and others as spiritually interconnected beings. They have great intuition, a strong sense of identity, and the ability to self-reflect. Those with closed light chakras tend to lack in imagination and have weak intuition, resulting in poor decision making and self-deception.

To open the light chakra, focus meditation on the forehead. Imagine a luminous ball of warm indigo energy emerging from your pineal gland and spinning slowly at the center of your forehead. Visualize it shooting powerful bands of light down and through your lower chakras, filling your entire being with divine light. Picture your third eye opening and reflecting aspects of the universe that you weren’t aware of before. Let go of all your illusions. Allow your intuition to guide you. Breathe.

Opening the Thought Chakra

“Everything is energy and that’s all there is to it. Match the frequency of the reality you want and you cannot help but get that reality. It can be no other way. This is not philosophy. This is physics.” –Albert Einstein

This chakra, also known as the crown chakra, deals with enlightened transcendence and is blocked by earthly attachment. We must be able to let go of all attachments, especially love, in order to open this chakra. This is very difficult to do. Because of this, only a very small percentage of people are ever able to open this chakra. Those with open thought chakras tend to experience divine union and cosmic love, stretching out forever. Their unique frequency is in tune with the greater cosmic orchestra. Those with closed thought chakras tend to be nihilistic and disconnected spiritually, doubting everything they know to be true.

To open the thought chakra, focus meditation on the top of your head. The goal is complete surrender and dissolution; a letting go of the hold that the physical world has on you. Imagine an infinite crown of violet energy showering up into the cosmos like a mighty fountainhead connecting you to all things. Feel the powerful energy pool up from your roots, passing through the sacred waters of the sacral, basking in the fire of the solar plexus, breathing in the vital breath of the heart, absorbing the ethereal voice of the throat, pouring through the dissolution of the Third Eye, and spilling up and out the crown of your head into a thousand-petaled lotus. Feel the boundaries of your mind body and soul dissolve into all things. Let go of earthly attachment. Let go of love. You are now love itself. Breathe.

About the Author
Gary ‘Z’ McGee, a former Navy Intelligence Specialist turned philosopher, is the author of Birthday Suit of God and The Looking Glass Man. His works are inspired by the great philosophers of the ages and his wide awake view of the modern world.
Posted in Chakras, Healing, meditation, New Age, Spirituality | Tagged , , , , | 1 Comment

Who To Blame for Michael Browns Death

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Can Blame Be Assigned in Michael Brown’s Death?

Written by Randi G. Fine

There is no doubt that the August 9, 2014 killing of 18 year old Michael Brown in Ferguson Missouri is a tragedy of monumental proportions. Not only was this young Michael’s life snuffed out before it even began, many other lives were changed forever. How tragic for his parents to have to suffer the tragic loss of their child. No parent should ever have to know the excruciating pain of losing a child. We all feel deeply for them.

Michael’s family was not the only one to suffer. Many of Ferguson’s businesses will have to rebuild from the ground up due to no fault of their own.  Opportunists with criminal agendas are responsible for the looting and destruction of the livelihoods of these innocent hard-working people.

Officer Darren Wilson, the man responsible for pulling the trigger that ended Michael Brown’s life is no stranger to adversity. After suffering through a tumultuous upbringing, Officer Wilson sought out a career in law enforcement as a way to help people, and create a solid foundation for his own life. Now his reputation and career have been ruined.

Is anyone to blame? Thousands of protesters seeking vigilante justice across the United States believe that Officer Wilson is responsible, even though a thorough forensic evaluation of the Ferguson Missouri incident was done and a Grand Jury found him not guilty on all charges.

Granted, Officer Wilson is not squeaky clean – no human being is – we are all fallible, but neither is Michael Brown.  The difference is that Officer Darren Wilson was in a position of authority that allowed him to use deadly force under specific circumstances.  There may be many who disagree with the decision he made, but the officer judged the circumstance as a deadly threat and responded accordingly.  Michael Brown, a young man with a clear lack of good judgment also made a decision when he acted the way he did. To blame the outcome on prejudice is ludicrous.

There are many who believe that Michael Brown was inculpable in his own death, simply because he was unarmed. Those who do fail to take into consideration his lack of respect for authority. Any sane, rationally minded person understands that compliance is necessary to his or her own safety when confronted by an officer of the law. That does not make Michael Brown a bad person. Young people notoriously make regrettable decisions and act in ways that do not serve them well.

Thinking back to some of the risky things I did as a teenager when I thought I knew everything, I am amazed that I survived those years. Any number of things could have happened to me. A few things did but I have fortunately recovered from them and moved on.

In raising my own children I remained constantly aware of the tendency many young people have toward irresponsibility, ignorance, immaturity, and poor decision making.  I taught them moral conduct and personal responsibility. Then I prayed that they would not do anything when out of my constraints that would cause them irreparable harm. Thank God nothing serious ever happened, but if it had, as painful as it would have been to do it, I would have assigned responsibility where responsibility was due.

Some kids survive those years and the ignorance of their youth, and some do not.  It is always an unfortunate, excruciating tragedy when they do not.  Regardless, responsibility should be held where responsibility is due.

Michael Brown’s family and all who continue to have malice in their hearts are doing this young man’s soul a serious injustice. Having left his physical body he now can exist freely and happily in the heavenly realm, but not until the anger associated with his passing ceases. Michael Brown cannot rest peacefully while all this turmoil exists. The pain in his soul will continue as he watches the suffering of his loved ones. He will not move on to the glory of the heavenly realm until there is forgiveness; until there is acceptance of the circumstances of his death.

Tragedies such as this one often happen to open our eyes to changes that need to be made. The Michael Brown incident in Ferguson Missouri triggered a widespread preexisting belief in many African Americans that the judicial system is biased against them. I have no first-hand experience with this so I will not judge their point of view one way or another.  I do believe that though the problem is a reality for many, the true problem runs much deeper than it appears.

I believe that every community or race must be willing to accept responsibility for the actions of its members and the way those actions impact society.

The victim mentality solves nothing.  Blame solves nothing.  Polarization solves nothing. Nothing gets resolved until all parties accept some level of culpability. We cannot fight disrespect with more disrespect, anger with more anger, hatred with more hatred, and blame with more blame.

Let us first and foremost stop torturing this young man’s soul.  His time is finished on this Earth. Those who love him must bless him and let him go. Those who are using his death for self-righteous beliefs must find another way to express their frustrations. Enough is enough. Let us please allow Michael Brown’s soul to rest in peace.

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Thanksgiving Gratitude Message

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A Message of Gratitude

From Randi G. Fine

Thanksgiving is a day that comes once every year to remind us to be grateful for all the blessings in our lives. It is a day for positive reflection, forgiveness and gratitude.

As we reflect, let us remember loved ones who are no longer with us, allowing gratitude to fill our hearts for the gift of having had these beautiful souls in our lives. Let us not focus on the loss of what we no longer have in the physical sense, but on the generous gift we were blessed with that profoundly touched our lives. Know that they are always with us in spirit. Thank them for the outpouring of eternal love and protection they surround us with every moment of every day.

Let us remember to give thanks on Thanksgiving to our many guides in the spirit world who love us more than we will ever know – who support us through challenging times and joyfully applaud all our successes.

On this Thanksgiving holiday, let us take a vacation from feelings of malice, judgment, blame, hatred, resentment and victimization – feelings that poison our souls and harden our hearts. Let us free our spirits – open them up to give thanks for our survival, recovery, and everything that brought us forth to this day.

As we celebrate Thanksgiving this year, let us be grateful for those who love us, see past our shortcomings, and accept us for who we are. Let us accept ourselves, forgive ourselves and be grateful for the person we are. And let us extend the same appreciation, forgiveness and acceptance to others.

On this Thanksgiving holiday I would like to extend my heartfelt gratitude to all of you, my dearest readers, followers, and listeners, for allowing me to share the things that are most important to me.  I am deeply inspired by all of you.

Wishing you a warm, lovely Thanksgiving day, however you wish to spend it. May your blessings from this day forward be bountiful.

Happy Thanksgiving

With Love and Gratitude,

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Previous Thanksgiving Posts:
 
Thanksgiving Message
Thanksgiving Blessing
Thanksgiving a Time to Be Grateful

More Gratitude Posts:
 
Rumi Gratitude Poem
Grateful Outlook Attracts Universal Generosity
Gratitude Picture Quote
Gratitude Picture Quote
Grateful Picture Quote
Thankfulness Message
Gratitude Message
Beautiful Life Picture Quote
Posted in Acceptance, Forgiveness, Gratitude, Thanksgiving | Tagged , , , , | 4 Comments

Empaths Struggle With Emotional Eating

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The Missing Piece to Overeating: Why Diets Fail

by Judith Orloff MD

(Excerpted from Positive Energy: Ten Extraordinary Prescriptions for Transforming Fatigue, Stress, and Fear Into Vibrance, Strength, and Love by Judith Orloff, MD. Three Rivers Press, 2005)

As a psychiatrist I know that there is more to overeating and obesity that meets the eye. One big reason that many diets fail is that traditional weight loss programs don’t factor in how we process subtle energy, what Chinese medicine terms life force or chi. Subtle energy penetrates and surround the body. Sensitive people who I call intuitive empaths unknowingly overeat in response to being overwhelmed by negative vibes. Empaths not only can sense energy around them, they absorb it into their bodies. If this is you, Positive Energy will teach you to center and protect yourself when the impulse to overeat hits.

Here’s the energetic premise of obesity: When empaths are thin they have less padding, are more vulnerable to soaking up negative vibes. For instance, early twentieth century faith healers were renowned for being grossly obese to avoid absorbing their patient’s symptoms-a common trap I’ve seen modern-day healers also unconsciously fall into; food is a convenient grounding device. Similarly, many of my patients pack on pounds to protect against overwhelming vibes, massive or minute. Energy is at the root of an empath’s hunger. Whether your sensitivity to negative vibes is minimal or intense, for a diet to succeed it’s important to develop alternative coping strategies other than overeating. In my book I will show you how to cope with negative vibes without abusing food. Whether accosted by an angry colleague or global threat, apply them immediately. Stick to those that work best for you.

8 Emergency Intervention to Halt Energetic Eating

When the impulse to overeat hits:

  • Identify an Addictive Craving from a True Need
  • Addictive craving, a symptom of nutritional abuse, is a frequent response to energetic overload. Bottomline, you eat certain foods like a drug addict; this leads to obesity. Cravings feel intense: whenever you keep lusting after sweets and carbs especially, be suspicious. (I’ve yet to see someone binge on brussel sprouts!) For instance, chocolate turns from simple pleasure to crutch when you gorge on it, use it to self-medicate stress, or to get a sugar high–also if you experience mood-swings, sugar hang-overs, can’t control your intake, or it makes you sick. With cravings, you eat to relieve stress, not to build energy. Try to identify addictive foods, and limit them.

    A true nutritional need lacks such sturm and drang: there’s no lusting or lunging for food to guard against negative energies. A true need comes from a centered place, has nothing to do with soothing our emotions (comfort foods) or obsession.. Feeling healthily nurtured from food never involves moodswings–sedation or elation–rather an even feeling of satisfaction. A true need lets you enjoy your meal, optimizes energy, and doesn’t lead to obesity.

  • Quickly pinpoint energetic stressors that trigger addictive cravings.
  • Immediately ask yourself: Have I been exposed to bad vibes? A loud- mouth neighbor. An ordeal to pass through airport security. A siege of overbearing phone messages from your mother. Don’t write off the “smaller” incidents which notoriously send empaths motoring to the refrigerator. Avoid panic. Methodically pinpoint cause and effect. You don’t have to be victimized by negative energy. The trick is to clear it as soon as possible once you’ve been slimed.

  • Breathe Negative Vibes Out of Your System.
  • Take a five minute break for damage control. Slowly inhale and exhale. As you’ve learned, breath activates positive energy; it also releases negative vibes. Notice if they get stuck in a specific part of your body. For instance, negative vibes go straight to my gut; I feel irradiated by a toxic stun gun. Identify your vulnerable points. Then practice this visualization: Just as your lungs take in oxygen and expel toxic carbon dioxide, you’re going to breathe in light and clarity, breathe out stress. Breathe in vitality. Breathe out fear. I also visualize negative vibes exiting through the spaces between the vertebrae in my lower back. You can try this too. Breathing out toxic vibes is a proactive cleansing process. You’re in charge of the flow. Allow well-being to permeate every inch of you. Repeat this exercise until you’re free of negative residue.

  • Pray to Release the Addictive Craving
  • If you’re gripped by a craving, go into praying-mode. For a few quiet moments breath slowly. Bring your awareness to your heart, and aim for self-compassion. The craving may feel impossible to handle, but that’s okay. In this calm state ask your higher power lift it from you. No mental nudging needed. If you surrender your ego-involvement, this simple heartfelt request works like a charm. What you’re doing is calling on a cosmically influential positive energy to supplant a material-world negative drive.

  • Take a bath or shower
  • A speedy way to dissolve negative vibes is to immerse yourself in water. My tub is my refuge after a busy day: it washes away everything from bus exhaust to long hours of air travel, to personal unpleasantness. While you relax water works on you. It has alchemical cleansing properties which will purify your physical body and energy field.

  • Burn sage
  • Just because vibes are invisible doesn’t mean you don’t eat over them. Try burning sage to counteract negative energy someone deposits in your office or home–a strategy that has kept pounds off my patients with a lot of people-contact in their space. Vibes accumulate, can cause stress if not eradicated. You may not realize that left-over subtle energies trigger addictive eating patterns, but these vibes subliminally wear at you. Sage has been used by ancients cross-culturally to purify locations. Burn it, and the desire to eat over lurking negative vibes will wane.

  • Visualize a Protective Shield Around You
  • Visualize white light surrounding every inch of you from head to toe so that negative energy cannot penetrate this shield and deplete your energy.

  • Eat with Attunement
  • Develop a diet that satisfies your energetic needs. I’d like energy to motivate why you eat, more important than taste or any dietary dogma–a priority to impart to children. Whatever you put in you mouth, run by your energy meter; see what truly nourishes or depletes. Even foods you’ve shunned become more attractive when your experience their energy lift.

    Food is no place to be passive. The interventions offered in Positive Energy will allow you to an active stance in eating healthily. You don’t have to let poisonous energy lodge itself in you. To stay on top of your eating, do a daily check-in. Stay alert for cravings prompted by negative vibes. Watch your responses. I promise, your eating habits will change.

    More About Empaths:

    What is an Empath and Are You One? (article)

    What is an Empath and Are You One? (podcast)


    About Judith Orloff
    Judith Orloff MD is a psychiatrist, intuitive healer, and NY Times bestselling author. Her latest national bestseller is The Ecstasy of Surrender: 12 Surprising Ways Letting Go Can Empower Your Life (Harmony Books, 2014). Dr. Orloff’s other bestsellers are Emotional Freedom, Positive Energy, Guide to Intuitive Healing, and Second Sight. Dr. Orloff synthesizes the pearls of traditional medicine with cutting edge knowledge of intuition, energy, and spirituality. She passionately believes that the future of medicine involves integrating all this wisdom to achieve emotional freedom and total wellness.www.drjudithorloff.com

    Posted in Body Image, Eating Disorders, Empathy, Highly Sensitive People | Tagged , , , , | 1 Comment