Life Awakening

AWAKEN FROM LIFE is about discovering who you are and about defining your true self so you can seize the helm of your life! This book is changing lives. Let it change yours!

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Story of Hope Love Destiny

If you like inspirational memoirs about the power of hope, or just want to read a candid expose of my previously misaligned life, FINE…LY: My Story of Hope, Love, and Destiny is the book for you!! It’s a page turner!!

Available in Paperback or as an E-Book

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This memoir written by a woman author tells a compelling, impactful true life story about hope and love, and how she found her destiny. An excellent book for women!

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Inspiring Authors Message

Author, Randi G. Fine 

Living Life to the Fullest

Inspirational Author’s Message

The most difficult people in our lives end up being our greatest teachers.   The hurdles they place before us and the challenges they present to us are only lessons that we must learn for our greater good.   Think of the oyster…without the irritating grain of sand there would be no pearl. ~ Randi G. Fine

We all experience times of joy and times of suffering as we move through our lives. Life is a breeze during the happy times; we get to sit back, relax, and enjoy the ride. But we must ask ourselves how good joy would feel if we had no adversity to contrast it? The phrase, “nobody said life was easy,” was coined with good reason. The truth is, life is hard work…but the beauty of life is that it has many facets.  We are constantly challenged to learn and grow.  And as we rise to those challenges we become stronger, wiser and better human beings. The universe holds all the answers we will ever need. It’s all there for the taking if we watch, listen, and trust our intuition. I invite you to follow me on my journey as I explore the many paths to happiness, and the many avenues that will lead us to living life to the fullest. I wish you serenity and joy in your life. ~ Randi

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Thanksgiving Message 2015

fall leaves5A Thanksgiving Prayer of Gratitude


Author Unknown

In the spirit of humility we give thanks for all that is.

We thank the great spiritual beings who have shared their wisdom.

We thank our ancestors for where they brought us to now.

We are grateful for the opportunity to walk this planet, to breathe the air, to taste the food, to experience sensations of the human body/mind, to share in this wonder that is life.

We are grateful for the natural world that supports us, for the community of humankind that enables us to do many wondrous things.

We are grateful that we are conscious, that as intelligent beings we can reflect upon the many gifts we have been given.

On this Thanksgiving day, however you may spend it, I am wishing you, dear reader a day of loving kindness for yourself and others, and a day of grateful reflection for the many gifts life has provided for you.

Among many other things, I am thankful for you.

With Love Always,


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Accept What You Cannot Control

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let goAllow, Trust

Things We Can’t Control

Daily OM by Madisyn Taylor

We develop grace as we learn with the guiding hand of the universe, life will unfold exactly the way it should.

The idea of trusting the universe is a popular one these days, but many of us don’t know what this really means and we often have a hard time doing it. This is partly because the story of humankind is most often presented as a story about struggle, control, and survival, instead of one of trust and collaboration with the universe. Yet, in truth, we need to adhere to both ideas in this life.

On the one hand, there is much to be said about exerting control over our environment. We created shelter to protect ourselves from the elements. We hunted for animals and invented agriculture to feed ourselves. We built social infrastructures to protect ourselves and create community. This is how we survive and grow as a civilization. However, it is also clear that there are plenty of things that we cannot control, no matter how hard we try, and we often receive support from an unseen force – a universe that provides us with what we cannot provide for ourselves.

It is a good idea to take responsibility for the things in life that we can control or create. We work so we can feed, clothe, and shelter our loved ones and ourselves. We manifest our dreams and visions in physical form with hard work and forethought. But at a certain point, when have done all that we can, we must let go and allow the universe to take over. This requires trust. It requires a trust that runs deeper than just expecting things to turn out the way we want them to. Sometimes they will, and sometimes they won’t. We develop equanimity and grace as we learn to trust that, with the guiding hand of the universe, life will unfold exactly the way it should. We are engaged in an ongoing relationship with a universe that responds to our thoughts and actions.
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Your Sensitivity is Your Power

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energy healingAre You an Empath, Highly Sensitive  Person, or Someone Who Feels Stuck in Past Pain or Trauma?

How to Turn Your Pain Into Your Power

Article Written by Randi G. Fine

On October 23, 2015 I had Dr. Alison Kay on my podcast, A Fine Time for Healing. Dr. Kay is a master subtle energies teacher, practitioner and natural healer who works on a global scale. She did a brief, five minute group healing on air that was so powerful, I experienced the emotional purging effects for a week. You can listen to the show and experience the healing for yourself by going to:

In my follow-up conversation with Dr. Kay I told her that I have thousands of readers, listeners, and counseling clients who for a variety of reasons find life a day to day struggle. Some cannot get past their emotional trauma or pain, some are highly sensitive, empathic people who pick up all the energies around them.

Dr. Kay explained how the two were related and how many factors can shift our subtle energy body.  I invited her back on my show on November 18th to explain it to all of you in ways only she can. The link to listen to that show is:

After learning that so many of you having these concerns,  and wanting to help you move past them, Dr. Alison Kay developed the four part Your Sensitivity Is Your Power Teleseries. 

If you see yourself in at least 3 of the following, this teleseries will be life changing for you.

    • You know you actually take on other people’s stuff, more than just worrying about them
    • Your energy levels are lower than you’d like them to be, or they go up and down quite sporadically
    • You don’t seem to be able to effectively say what you mean with others, although you do fine with your rehearsals ahead of time, or when alone
    • You consider yourself co-dependent, or know you have co-dependent relationships
    • You sometimes may feel as if you’re a victim to this world and others
    • You often hold yourself back or close yourself down
    • You find yourself over-giving and you don’t know how to stop
    • You notice you hold onto extra weight and often have trouble with your digestive tract
    • You don’t feel comfortable in your own skin, and want to feel like your old self again
    • You know you need to have better energetic boundaries
    • You want to dissolve the unconscious & subconscious parts of you that take on other peoples’ stuff as if it’s your duty in life
    • You want to feel supported instead of just being “the support”
    • You want help in opening your heart and quieting your mind

In this four-part teleseries, Dr. Alison will support you in re-framing what may have been previously perceived by you and told to you that sensitivity is your weakness.  You’ll be empowered to know how it’s actually your strength and your gift.  She’ll share a rarely mentioned and new understanding about why “sensitives” are this way that no one else is presenting; the kind of information that can set you free!

She’ll offer practical tips and tools that will help you take command over your own energy field, how to keep it clean, and how to better understand the dynamics of subtle energy and energy flows so you can work within the field you’re living more adeptly and with more ease and comfort.

She’ll further share her unique understanding of which chakra(s) this pattern is related to and how that may also be affecting some other sensations in your body, even the shape of your physical body itself, and hear why you may crave certain foods and how to shift that.

Because I believe so strongly in Dr. Alison’s work, and am so excited about it, I will be participating in the Your Sensitivity if Your Power Teleseries. I strongly encourage you to sign up and join me.  She has substantially discounted the cost at my urging, so more of you can participate. You will be able to interact with me there as well.

Though I am promoting this workshop, I am receiving no financial compensation for my endorsement. I just believe that this is going to be a life changing experience for you. If you are not yet convinced, click on the links I provided to both of the shows she did with me and listen to what she has to say (particularly the second one where she explains all of this).

Give yourself this life changing gift for the holidays and start the new year with a brand new outlook.

You can learn more about the Your Sensitivity is Your Power Teleseries and sign up for it by going to

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Saying Yes When You Really Want to Say No

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Overcoming the Need to Always Say Yes

Article Written by Randi G. Fine

We have all felt compelled, one time or another, to say yes to something or someone when we really wanted to say no. We may have agreed to a commitment that we later regretted because we wanted to be nice or polite, feared conflict or confrontation, or worried what others would think of us. Saying no makes many of us feel uncomfortable. We would rather accept the personal sacrifices that come from agreeing than risk the consequences of saying no.

There are a variety of reasons people may find it hard to say no. Some people seek approval, some have the need to always be liked or needed, some fear burning bridges, and some simply do not place enough value on their selves or their time.

When others ask for our commitment many of us assume out of fear or the slant of our own perceptions that we know what those individuals want or are thinking. As a result we may falsely presume how they will react to being turned down, maybe create a scenario in our heads where the repercussions of saying no are very uncomfortable—perhaps catastrophic. In actuality that is rarely the result, but when it is, the other person’s overreaction often signals a bigger problem that cannot be remedied by our compliance. When someone cannot accept “no” as the answer we are not the problem—they are.

A person asking for help or a favor usually has a backup plan. If we say no they will often move on to “Plan B.” They may be disappointed by our response but their world will not be shattered. They will understand and get over it. Those of us who find it difficult to say no may not. We may ruminate over our decision or suffer guilt feelings for having turned them down.

Many people say yes because they place more value on others’ time than they do their own. But whenever we place more emphasis on pleasing others than we do ourselves we demonstrate a lack of boundaries and self-respect. Others begin to see us as “pushovers.” They will ask us to do things not because we are the best person to fulfill the job or favor, but because we never say no. By demonstrating that we value our time we teach others to respect and value it as well.

As humans we are interdependent. The propagation of our race and the functions of our society depend on the exchanges we have with others. Our species thrives on the reciprocation of love and kindness. But we must show kindness to ourselves before we can show it to others.

Time is a limited commodity; we have the right to choose how we want to spend it. Wasted time is lost time. The fifteen minutes here and there that we agree to give to others adds up to lost hours that we cannot get back. It is certainly the duty of each of us to help others in need, but it is up to us to define the balance between taking care of ourselves and assisting others. We cannot be everything to everyone.

Saying no has its implications but so does saying yes. Every time we say yes to something we say no to something else. When we over commit we deprive ourselves of the rest, relaxation, and sleep we need. Our performance and productivity in the things we say yes to suffer. The more selective we are with our consents the more often and effectively we can be there for those we truly want to help out.

There are times when we have no other option but to say yes. Whenever our compliance or agreement involves living up to our personal responsibilities we never have the option of declining. Likewise, those who are part of a team have the responsibility of participating and pulling their weight, though they do not have to take on more than their fair share. There are also times when we should never say yes. We should never allow others to unload their problems on us, take advantage of us, or manipulate us.

Sometimes it seems like the easiest thing to do would be to avoid saying no altogether and saying yes more. But you will no longer feel uncomfortable turning requests down once you learn the right way to do it. Remind yourself that you will not be the first person to decline a request—other people say no on a regular basis with very positive outcomes. With practice you will discover how easily you can do it too.

Here are five tips that will help you say no respectfully and courteously.

1. Be assertive. Say no politely but with conviction. Articulate it directly, openly, and honestly.

2. Never start out by apologizing. Saying, “I’m sorry but…” or I’m sorry I wish I could” waters down your stance. It makes you sound weaker and sends the wrong message.

3. The simplest and most direct way to say no is just to say, “No I Can’t,” “No thank you,” or “I already have plans.” Explain but do not over-explain. Keep it simple.

4. To restrain your tendency of first saying yes then regretting it, never promise anything on the spot. Just say, “I’ll think about it and get back to you” or I’ll check my schedule and get back to you.” If someone needs an immediate answer it should always be “no.”

5. If you would like to keep your options open but are genuinely too busy to make a decision, you can say, “That sounds like an interesting opportunity but I don’t have the time to consider it at the moment. Perhaps you could get back with me.” This makes the other person feel valuable, whether you ultimately respond yes or no.

Others have the right to ask us for whatever they want—money, a favor, our time. People can and will extend social invitations. Just as it is others’ rights to ask, it is our right and prerogative whether to say yes or no. That is a choice each of us is entitled to make.

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Recovering from Narcissistic Abuse without Validation


Recovering from Narcissistic Abuse without Validation

To read this article written by Randi Fine for, please go to

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Embracing Life Transitions

Transcript from 6/14/12 blog talk radio show A Fine Time for Healing, Transitions in Life

Transitions in Life

Written by Randi G. Fine

Life is a series of beginnings and endings. Seasons change; trees blossom and then go barren, flowers bloom and then go dormant, day turns to night, years begin and they end, we are born and we die.

Endings are not sudden, nor are beginnings. They come about through the process of transition. Transitions, the uncertain spaces between the beginnings and endings of change, the pauses and processes of life, are inevitable.

Life does not exist without transition; it conveys us through the stages of life. Many processes of transition are subtle, occurring fluently and without our awareness. Our bodies and minds easily acclimate to them. But change, whether good or bad, can also be very difficult. We feel off kilter when the comfort of the familiar and convenient becomes the discomfort of the unfamiliar and inconvenient, when we are forced to adjust our lives in ways that seem foreign to us.

We each view the transitions that occur in our lives differently. The way we perceive them is based on a variety of factors; our personalities, life experiences, emotional fortitude, coping skills, habitual behaviors, life styles, age, economic status, and more.transistions3

Transitions are stressful for everyone, but for those who are creatures of habit and very resistant to change, transitions may be extraordinarily so. Those who look forward to and welcome change more easily adjust to the process that goes along with it.

My husband and I are opposites in regard to our comfort level with change. I call him an “Old dog,” as in the expression, “You can’t teach an old dog, new tricks.” At the mention of change he digs his heels in and instantly becomes anxious–and not in a good way. I on the other hand get bored with the “same ol’, same ol’ very easily. I love that life is full of changes and surprises. That does not mean that transitions don’t make me uncomfortable—they do. But while they are emotional and stressful for me, faith and hindsight assure me that everything will work out for the best. I look forward to a new blossom on the rose of life. Though we are different in the way we view change, somehow we balance each other out. He grounds me and I give him a sense of adventure.

Couples go through many transitions as they mature in their years together. Their values, decisions, and choices as individuals and as a couple will change through the years. They must be willing and ready to accept, respect, readjust, and re-balance as each person navigates through their own stages and experiences of life at their own pace and in their own way. Some transitions, like getting married, moving in together, having a baby, making career decisions, buying a house, or relocating are navigated jointly. Both people will have different points of view and must work together to compromise a happy medium. The skills that they apply to make these transitions flow will strengthen the relationship, making future transitions a little easier to go through. Don’t be caught off guard when stressful events occur in your relationship. You might as well anticipate them because they are definitely going to happen.

It is normal to feel vulnerable, fearful, inadequate, and disoriented when the big question mark representing your future looms large in front of you. But transitions serve a very important purpose in our lives; they are opportunities for us to learn, grow, and gain new understanding of ourselves. They show us what we are made of, what our strengths and weaknesses, assets and liabilities are, so we can evaluate our lives and set new goals. They allow us to edit the story of our lives and give ourselves a new beginning.

Change may be voluntarytransitions3 and welcomed, but it may also be involuntary and unwelcomed. I would venture to say that unexpected, involuntary, unplanned, and unanticipated transitions are experienced in the most devastating ways. Unwelcomed transitions might begin with the death of a loved one, the loss or death of a pet, a painful separation or divorce, a financial or job loss, the loss of a home, an accident, or an illness. Unprepared for this types of transition these events typically leave us with feelings of shock, anger, denial, depression, betrayal, fear, insecurity, abandonment, and a whole host of other negative emotions.

Expected, voluntary, planned, and anticipated transitions come about at specific times in our lives. Though planned, the feelings leading up to them are still are anxiety producing. Common anticipated transitions begin with graduation, retirement, a welcomed change in job or career, going away to college, getting married, having a baby, the first day of school, moving to a new home, or a young adult moving out on their own.

Some transitions come about unexpectedly but are the result of a welcomed change such as a job transfer, the start of a new relationship, a promotion, or relocation to another city. Some transitions are anticipated and expected, but are involuntary such as aging, declining health, the loss of a role as occurs with empty nest syndrome, or an anticipated job loss.

Children make anticipated transitions throughout their stages of development, but according to Dr. Daniel Levinson, so do adults. Dr. Levinson, a retired professor of psychology at Yale who is now deceased, developed the well-regarded “Levinson’s theory,” a comprehensive theory of the stages of adult development. The ages that are shown for each stage fluctuate; we are all different and so is the way we progress through life’s stages. And though Levinson’s progression is linear, we do not move from one stage to another in that fashion. We may revisit previous stages as life presents us with unexpected events.

To successfully move through each stage we must allow ourselves to experience the emotions that go along with it, be accepting of the changes that are occurring, and be willing to let go of the past.

According to Dr. Levinson, the first stage of transition, called “Autonomy/Tentative Choices,” happens from ages 18-26. At this young adult stage we are developing a sense of who we are as a person, independent from our parents and childhood peers. We are defining ourselves as individuals, initiating an independent lifestyle, testing out new friendships, peer groups, and romantic interests, and changing our focus from our family to our peers. The commitments we make at this stage are tentative with the awareness that we can change our minds in the future.

The second stage,transitions4 called “Young Adult Transition,” occurs between ages 27 and 31. This is a time of disquietude. At this stage we question our sense of self, who we want to become, and what we want from life. We evaluate the choices we tentatively made in the previous stage, deciding whether or not to maintain them or change them, with a sense that the time of our carefree youth is quickly running out. We begin making commitments and connections, and sorting through our relationships, deciding which ones we will hold onto.

The third stage, called “Making Commitments,” occurs between ages 32 and 40. This is a stage of calm as we establish a more permanent sense of self. We implement the choices made in the previous stage; who we want to become and which direction to take in life. We feel a sense of mastery of our profession and focus our efforts on accomplishment. We make deeper commitments in our connections to society and community. Our relationship commitments to friends, peers, and romantic interests become more permanent.

The fourth stage, called, “Mid-Life Transition,” occurs between ages 41 and 48. This is a stage of discontentment, boredom, disillusionment, and rebalancing. We take a hard look at ourselves, questioning whether or not we achieved what we set out to do in life. Now half-way through life, we are coming to terms with our mortality. We focus less on our values and more on making up for whatever and whoever we neglected, wanting to make the best out of the next part of our lives. We re-assess the perception we have of ourselves, evaluate his values, and revise our priorities. We no longer feel the need to conform to peer, cultural, and societal pressure.

This stage is more commonly referred to as, “Midlife Crisis,” a natural maturing process first identified by Carl Jung. Though Levinson estimated the age of mid-life transition to be between the ages of 41 and 48, a midlife crisis might occur anywhere from about age 37 through the 50s. Due to the processes of life that may occur during this time of life, the difficulty of this stage may be compounded by simultaneous transitions such as divorce, bereavement over the loss of a parent, friend, or loved one, or worry over accumulated debt.

It becomes a crisis when we don’t understand the process and cannot come to terms with changes such as our aging appearance. When this happens we may find ourselves stuck, depressed, and frustrated. Dealing with this transition in an unhealthy way may cause us to do damaging things and make irrational choices that we may eventually regret.
At this stage, men typically feel the need to prove their worth, achievements, and job performance while trying to appear more youthful and successful. The stereotypical mid-life crisis male typically goes out and buys a sports car, though that is certainly not true in all cases. But they also soften their macho side and begin embracing more feminine interests like cooking, or artistic endeavors.

Women,transitions6 typically defined by their roles and relationships, begin reevaluating their performance in their roles as mother, wife, or partner. Realizing that they have put in the majority of their time raising children or being devoted to a career, and are now free to make choices, they feel the urge to pursue the dreams they had previously shelved. Feeling that they have paid their dues, they focus more on satisfying their selves.

If you are in this transition, take notice of any negative changes arising from the difficulty of it. Are you suffering from depression and the symptoms that go along with it such as change in eating habits, fatigue, sleeping pattern changes, anxiety, irritability, loss of interest in activities you once enjoyed, or obvious indications like thoughts of suicide? Are you suffering minor physical ailments that have no explanation? Deal with these symptoms as soon as possible, before you lose control or something terrible happens. Consider consulting a therapist to help guide you through the process.

When dealt with in a healthy manner, mid-life transition can be a time of tremendous growth. Support from close friends and loved ones will help us more easily navigate our way through the process.

The fifth stage, called “Leaving a Legacy,” occurs between ages 49 and 65. At the peak of our maturity, this has the potential to be one of the most productive stages. At this stage we focus on values that mean the most in the scheme of life. We are driven to make the best out of the time we have left by helping others, and we feel compelled to leave a positive legacy. We let go of our false ego and accept ourselves as worthwhile, regardless of our weaknesses. We feel less compelled to impress others and more compelled to make things better for them. We engage in deeper and more productive relationships with family, friends, and are driven to make contributions to society.

The sixth and last stage, called “Spiritual Denouement,” occurs from ages 66 and beyond. This is a stage of completion and fine-tuning. At this stage we are completing our spiritual development and the development of the person we wish to become.transitions8 We come to terms with the limitations of ourselves and our mortality, recognizing that life is only a part of existence and accepting that there is greater spiritual wisdom. And with that acceptance we become more willing to submit ourselves to the will of the higher power we believe in. As we prepare to leave our mark on the world we have a strong desire to pass the wealth of wisdom we have gained onto others. We have become more tolerant, accepting, and respectful of the diversity of others and have a greater sense of community.

You don’t have to understand the stages of growth to know that we get older, gain experience, and our wisdom matures. As we age we further our growth as a person. But what exactly are we striving for? Is our time on the Earth all there is? Are reasoning, sophistication, intellect, and experience merely accumulated until we cease to exist?
Transition plays a huge part in our spiritual growth. We are spiritual beings living in physical bodies, here to progress our souls. There is a much bigger picture and ultimate goal for our pain and efforts in the physical world. It is not about money, expertise, or recognition. The progresses we make and the people we help as we go through the stages of life propel our spiritual growth forward. If we don’t change we don’t grow.

We not only transition in life, we transition between lives. Birth is a transition, death is a transition, our journey to the other side some call heaven is a transition. From our efforts on the other side our souls transition to different levels of consciousness until they reach perfection.

Transition is the way the Universe gives you the lessons you need to learn and keeps you on the path that is best for you. Faith plays a huge part in it. Believing that you are never alone and that you always have divine guidance will carry you when you find it hard to carry yourself. Have faith in the perfection of the Universe. As difficult as life sometimes seem, understand that there is a greater plan for everything that happens.

Yes, transition is uncomfortable and difficult but nothing in life would exist without it. Transitions have beginnings and ends. You just have to push your way through the fog until you reach the end of each one. The end will always come, followed by a new beginning. You cannot possibly know what is in store for you, but hindsight of your past will assure you that everything will work out for the best. The confusion will pass, your clarity will be restored, and your vitality for living will return.

Change is an transitionsinevitable reality for all of us; it will come whether you are prepared for it or not. It is just another one of life’s challenges. Accept that you will feel insecure and uncomfortable while in the process. Acceptance of your reality is what will get you through it. A transition can either flow through its course or turn into a crisis. It is what you make it. Resistance and avoidance only hinder the process and get you stuck. Flexibility is necessary.

Though we cannot always choose our circumstances, we can choose how we deal with them. We can be a victim of circumstance and give away our personal power, or we can make the best of the hand we are dealt, and steer the course of our lives. If you are one who tends to take the victim stance, stop saying “why me” and feeling sorry for yourself. You are not the only one going through a painful transition. Life has not singled you out to be punished. Make the choice to lose the victim mentality and take responsibility for the way you live your life.

If you have always resisted change, shift your way of thinking about it. Embrace transition as a positive process that you can trust, an opportunity for rebirth. Life has a way of always working out, though it may take time to see the positive outcome. You can choose to have a positive outlook, to welcome change as a growth opportunity, even if you don’t understand he reasons behind the transition or are unprepared for the process. There is much in life that we do not understand. It is the big picture that counts.

When faced with the unknown it is natural to feel as if you have lost control of your life. That is because you probably have, but you have only lost control of certain aspects of it. Start by recognizing one small aspect of yourself or your life that you do have control over and exercise that control. Be sure to keep some things consistent. These strategies will help in re-balancing the loss of equilibrium you feel and give you back some of the power that you feel you have lost.

The way change is dealt with is different for each person and each transition. No two experiences will be the same. There is no manual. But there are strategies you can apply that will make the process more manageable and less stressful.

You cannot accept your situation unless you acknowledge your feelings and face your fears. Journaling is a wonderful way to express what you are feeling inside. Reflection and writing on a regular basis will help to reduce the confusion you feel, help you identify your fears, and help you reclaim the power your thoughts have over you.

Spend time alone to learn about yourself and gain self-awareness. This is the time to figure out what your needs are and who you would like to become. Take care of yourself, body, mind, and spirit; eat well, exercise, rest, and do things you enjoy.

Observe your life from the outside looking in. What is the overall picture of what is happening? Ask yourself what the worst thing that can happen is. Often your fears take on a life of their own causing you to lose perspective. Take a step back; get out of your own head for a few minutes. Take a rational approach.

Change your attitudetransitions9 from dread to anticipation. Understand that the comfort of old routines is only temporary. Take a new perspective; look at change as an opportunity for rebirth and growth. Try to find something positive about whatever situation you are in. Ask yourself what the potential opportunities that can come from it are and focus on them. Look back at your past to see how situations beyond your control ultimately benefitted you.

The most important and probably most difficult part of the process is taking the first step toward accomplishment. After you begin, take it a small step at a time. Just put one foot in front of the other and propel yourself forward, no matter how insignificant the effort may seem.

Set manageable short term and long term goals for yourself, and then celebrate when you reach them. Give yourself credit for the progress you make. Identify any resources available to you that will help you through the process.

Before you can embrace the new you have to let go of the old. Create an event to mark the end of the past and the start of a new beginning. Make a ritual of saying goodbye to people, situations, or places that will no longer be a part of your life. Be willing to let old identities, roles, and routines that no longer serve a purpose in your life go.

Allow yourself to imagine the future as you hope it will be. Seek inspiration through books, blogs, radio shows like this one, and special interest groups.

Don’t be afraid to humble yourself and ask for help. Share your feelings with those who are truly supportive of you, unconditionally accept you, and encourage you. You may need people you can emotionally lean on for awhile, people who will patiently listen to you as you obsess over the same feelings and frustrations over and over—people who will affirm what you are feeling and are willing to share their own experiences and positive outcomes to offer you a more positive viewpoint.

Find an accountability partner—someone who we keep you on track, encourage you, and bring you back to reality when you stray. This is person you will share your plans and goals with who will motivate you to keep moving forward. Choose someone you can trust to be brutally honest and give you a dose of tough love whenever you need it.

Progressing forward in a healthy way is critical to the process. You may need the help of a financial counselor or mental health professionals to guide you.

Think about the many transitions you have passed through in your life. Realize that they have delivered you to this moment. You made it through the best and you made it through the worst…and you are still here to talk about it. How did you deal with past changes? What would you do different? What have you learned as a result of transition and how has it transformed you?

Be proud of where you have come from, the strength you mustered in the past that got you through hard times, and the wisdom you gained as a result. That wisdom will be tremendously helpful in your ongoing life and it will certainly speed up your soul’s evolution. That is after all our ultimate goal.

Know that you would not be here if you did not have the capacity to handle life’s challenges. It is said that only the bravest souls choose to come to Earth school.

You maytransitions7 be experiencing transitions now and you certainly will be in the future. There will be periods of smooth sailing and there will be times of hardship. Sometimes you will easily stroll down the path of life and sometimes you will veer off course.

Transitions are not indications of failure; they are opportunities for growth, renewal, and rebirth. They allow us to become the best we can possibly be.

Look to all the future holds for you because that is where you are headed…and have faith.

To listen to the recording of this show please go to

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Treacherous World of Corporate Narcissism

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Treacherous World of Corporate Narcissism

With Randi Fine, host of the Blog Talk Radio Show, A Fine Time for Healing

On Tuesday October 6, 2015 A Fine Time for Healing will feature special guest Kristin Sunanta Walker, the CEO of a behavioral health consulting practice everythingEHR and host of Mental Health News Radio.

Kristin has worked in corporate America, specifically within the healthcare field, for over twenty five years.  As a consultant navigating the often treacherous world of corporate narcissism, she has found herself swimming, many times, in shark infested waters.

Kristin spent her childhood exposed to all members of the “Dark Triad” (narcissism, Machiavellian-ism and psychopathy). They were members of her biological family.  Little did she know this would set her up to not only heal the trauma she experienced at the hands of these predators but also forge a successful career along side many of them.  She uses the knowledge she has learned by living with these predators to help her clients and her own company sustain equitable, emotionally healthy, and financially successful business relationships.

Working with narcissists, sociopaths, and psychopaths in the corporate sector is no easy feat.  They live and work around us every day and everywhere.  The “every day” psychopath does wreak havoc on the emotional, financial, and physical lives of everyone around them.

When Kristin began her radio show it was to discuss behavioral healthcare technology, give voice to the work of clinicians, and raise awareness about mental health.  Her shows on narcissism, however, became so popular they pushed the show to a global audience downloaded in over 171 countries.  Through interviewing global leaders on the subjects of narcissism, psychopathy, and sociopathology Kristin has been able to spread awareness about narcissistic abuse.

On the October 6th show with Kristin Sunanta Walker as my special guest, Kristin and I will discuss corporate narcissism and toxic work environments.  As with her own radio show, Kristin will get personal about her own experiences and those of her colleagues.

Some of the topics of discussion will be on the following:

  • What is corporate narcissism?
  • Is there a difference between having a co-worker that has narcissistic personality disorder and having the CEO of the company with this disorder?
  • What are some of the traumas that employees, business partners, and vendors experience during and after working with a corporate narcissist?
  • Can an entire organization be narcissistically disordered?
  • How can staff root out these predators and create a healthy work environment?
  • What kind of counseling is needed in order for the victims to overcome the emotional abuse suffered while working with these people?
  • Can corporate narcissists be healed?
  • Can a narcissistic organization be healed?
  • What are some of your first hand experiences working with these predators?

Please tune in on October 6th and listen either live at 11 am EST or anytime after the show airs by going to

To learn more about Kristin Sunanta Walker please visit:

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Verbal Abuse In Romantic Relationships Survey

Describe Your Reaction to Verbal Demeaning or Abuse From Your Romantic Partner

Take Anonymous Survey and Share Your Experience

For more information about counseling with Randi Fine, please visit

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Empaths and Unexplained Ailments

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Understanding the Empath

Written by Dave Markowitz, Prevent Disease

Posted in March 15, 2014

If you’re dealing with symptoms that no one can diagnose, much less treat effectively, maybe there’s someplace else you’ve yet to look. I’ve been in alternative medicine for twenty years; in 2012 I started attracting clients who had already done everything they and others knew to do for their ailments. Most exhausted all the traditional Western modalities, which led to a bevy of alternative modalities. None of those were successful either, and as it seems to be the natural progression for most, next came more esoteric concepts and therapies. Many entered into what some call the New Thought movement deep and hard. They tried chanting, positive affirmations, and numerous energy medicines, and these too were ineffective. One day in a session it hit me; I was able to intuit that the aches and pains of my client weren’t her own.


Everyone I’d seen from that point onward had a remarkable list of can’t-be-coincidence similarities: they were highly sensitive, very empathic, had an unrealistic sense of responsibility for others, and had tried everything to heal but couldn’t. As a medical intuitive I’d been used to identifying underlying causes beyond the physical body that contributed to a pain or illness, but this took it one step further.

I was able to see the pattern. A sense of responsibility was virtually injected into their blood streams from early on. Some actually heard directly, everything from “Sit still and make your grandmother happy” to “I can’t take care of your father, I’ll need you to do it for me while I take care of your brother” and alike. Others sensed that it was their job to hold things together. Many were super sensitive to difficult family dynamics and became the peacemaker. Some tried to entertain family members with musical proficiency, art, or a unique sense of humour. Others could sense emotional difficulties and reached out energetically to heal those in emotional pain. And all had become people pleasers.

If you take a step back for a moment, you can see how feeling responsible for others and having a high degree of empathic abilities can be an unhealthy if not dangerous combination. Empaths by definition take on the thoughts, energy, and characteristics of others, and extreme empathy, combined with an overblown sense of responsibility, can actually manifest in pains and illness that are not their own.


I was then able to intuit a series of steps that over time became more and more powerful. For example, one woman who had been diagnosed with chronic fatigue said she saw dramatic improvements in just four days when nothing else helped in the last ten years. Another released what she called ‘several decades of anxiety’ in just one session. And many have released years of repressed grief and their related symptoms (colon, breathing, skin etc. problems) in just a few sessions.

I know, that sounds ridiculous, but if we’re open to something extraordinary, my belief is that something extraordinary often happens. Is this a panacea? Of course not; there are too many factors to claim guaranteed success – even aspirin doesn’t work the same for everyone. But if you identify with being empathic, intuitive, sensitive, and you’ve had little success elsewhere, why not give this a try?

Understand Responsibilities

I am not responsible for the soul path of another person. Neither are you. You may know this consciously, but odds are really high that you haven’t yet fully embodied this awareness.

The patterns of responsibility start early on. For some, it begins in our first few days in the womb. We know now that if a mother smokes, her baby smokes, too. But what we don’t often recognize is that if a mother is depressed, the baby also shares that chemical imbalance. In our first nine months of life, we grow, expand, and become aware of what’s happening with / within /for / to our mother, including sensing her fear, anger, and grief.

A few years later, if, for example, our mother was depressed or our father was an alcoholic, we sometimes take on responsibility for those conditions. That often includes blaming ourselves: “If I were a better child, Dad wouldn’t drink and Mom would be happier, too.” Many of us began doing what others wanted us to do in order to be loved and perceived as good. This can manifest in ‘positive’ or ‘negative’ emulation to align with our caregiver(s) actions. For example, a child may become compassionate like his mother or stubborn like his father. Ironically, because the actions are in alignment with what the parent may say or do, the child is then called ‘good’. Being good may get us love and attention, but getting love because of what we do or don’t do is the very definition of conditional love, a very low vibration. This creates an unhealthy pattern that sets up all kinds of defeatist patterns for relationships later in life. As children, especially, we wished others around us to be happy and well. So we danced, acted extra ‘silly’, and eventually told jokes, or used art, or good grades, or making dance or sports teams to get love or make others proud of us – to alleviate the fear, anger, and grief of our caregivers.

The subconscious desire to heal one or both parents or caregivers becomes pervasive empath18throughout life and expresses itself in a variety of ways. Many of us receive positive praise for putting others first, and some of us go into careers and manage to get paid for facilitating healing (of any type) in others. The overweight parents raise the son or daughter who wants to become a nutritionist or personal trainer. The narcissistic father raises the daughter who becomes a psychologist, social worker, or other form of counseling practitioner in order (subconsciously) to understand what makes him tick. The superficially inclined parent raises a child who wants to explore and go deeper, and who often becomes an academic or intuitive – a seeker of truth. The grief-stricken mother gives birth to the child who becomes an energy healer or a comedian.

The sense of responsibility that most babies learn, when combined with being an empath, makes us absorb the problems and take on the imbalances in others. We typically try to heal others ahead of maintaining a healthy practice of self-care. Some of us burn out after barely a decade in a field that, if chosen and performed with awareness and use of the steps I’m writing about, could last a lifetime. If we get paid to be a healer of any type, or receive any other form of strong positive reinforcement, it’s even harder to let go of the learned sense of responsibility from infancy. Our ego identification is with being a helper and that, combined with the metaphysically true and physically untrue concept of oneness, creates a one-way exchange of negative energy that we take on and hold onto – sometimes forever.

Clearly, this is unhealthy for all. With this new awareness of an underlying cause, take steps to ensure that your actions are coming from unconditional love rather than the learned sense of responsibility. The latter also includes ‘should be’, guilt, fear, and shame. Be mindful in your thoughts words and actions, “Am I doing this because I want to, or because I should do so, based on someone else’s belief system?”

Why We Absorb the Maladies of Others

I am currently working with a very wise, spiritual woman I’ll call ‘Amy’ who can clearly recall being 3 years old and having an awareness of how ill her mother was at that time. Because babies only know love, Amy wanted to do something to help her mom. Amy remembers going to her mother’s bedside wanting “desperately to do something” and recalls “healing her mother” in that moment. After that experience, Amy’s mother did feel better, but Amy felt worse. Much worse.

She presented to me, in her own words, “barely able to walk”. She’d already had surgeries on her hip and feet, and doctors didn’t know what to do next. I was able to intuit that Amy actually absorbed the energy of her ailing mom at that time, and has been holding onto that stagnant energy ever since. And this is not uncommon. In my experience of late, I’ve found it to be the norm more than the exception. Amy’s loving act was both effective and detrimental at the same time – effective for her mom, and detrimental to her.

This seemingly loving intention created a pattern of feeling responsible for others’ health and so much more. Even as a youth, Amy felt responsible for holding the family container together. She recalls feeling responsible for everyone’s well-being, and of course acted from that ill-perceived place. Everyone else bought into that version of reality, too. Her siblings and mother blamed her for all that went ‘wrong’. This affected Amy’s self-esteem, which is energetically tied into the efficiency of the immune system. That, in addition to the energetic transfer, got Amy very sick in her youth and she has been plagued with serious pain and illness for many decades since.

Without a very conscious awareness driving the action, her soul’s contract of being a helper called her toward this event and its subsequent learning opportunities. Years of pain and illness drove her to try so many modalities and practitioners but few thought to ask about her childhood, and none created safe space for her to share this event with them.

I explained that this learned sense of responsibility has been burdening her entire life. The one-way flow of energy when not understood makes us too attached to other people’s feelings and even their opinions. We become people pleasers, denying our own sense of self and always focusing on others. But just like we hear on every airplane ride about the oxygen masks, we need to take care of ourselves first. Amy is now integrating this information using the tools I’ve given her and as we work together doing specific exercises to fine-tune her empathic abilities, she is healing slowly but surely of ailments that have plagued her for five decades.

While Amy’s level of illness is one of the more extreme I’m working with, the underlying causes are the same for many of us. The sense of responsibility we often learn early on makes us live at the mercy of other people’s thoughts and opinions of us. We don’t dare anger another for fear we’ll be unloved. We don’t dare say what we want because we don’t feel worthy of having our needs met or can’t handle someone saying “no” to us. And we end up doing things out of fear, guilt, or shame – all very low vibrational patterns – in a feeble attempt to be loved by others.

Guilt, fear and shame create resentment and a resultant constriction of energy, leaving us unable to fully heal or even excel in many areas of our lives. On the converse, acting from compassion and unconditional love is an expansive energy, opening us up to the healing and abundance of the Universe.

All of nature includes both problems and solutions; we only have to look further than our learned realities to see it. To me, non-diagnosable symptoms, or even diagnosed illness that had no obvious cause were just a jigsaw puzzle needing to be filled in from beyond the physical world pf prescriptions, surgeries, and even existent energy healing modalities. When I was open, the answers came to me, and invite you to do the same to see if this information resonates with you on a deeper level than solely mind awareness.


About the Author

Dave Markowitz helps empaths, intuitives, sensitives, and alike transform illness into health. Using medical intuition and a variety of energetic healing arts, he works worldwide by phone or Skype, and in person in Portland Oregon. For more information visit

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Narcissistic Abuse Survivors United

facebook banner narcissist1Dear Readers,

Please note:

In an effort to generate more interest, there has been a name change for the Facebook Page, Compassionate Support for Narcissistic Abuse Survivors.

The new name is Narcissistic Abuse Survivors United Please support this page by visiting and liking it. With your participation I can support you and together we can support others who are suffering from Narcissistic Abuse issues.

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Thank you!


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