COMING SUMMER 2012!!

Posted on May 15, 2012 by rand8492

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Fine…ly: My Story of Hope, Love, and Destiny

Posted on November 15, 2010 by rand8492
 

Available in Paperback or as an E-Book

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The Author’s Message: Living Life to the Fullest

Posted on November 16, 2010 by rand8492

Author, Randi G. Fine 

The most difficult people in our lives end up being our greatest teachers.   The hurdles they place before us and the challenges they present to us are only lessons that we must learn for our greater good.   Think of the oyster…without the irritating grain of sand there would be no pearl. ~ Randi G. Fine

We all experience times of joy and times of suffering as we move through our lives. Life is a breeze during the happy times; we get to sit back, relax, and enjoy the ride. But we must ask ourselves how good joy would feel if we had no adversity to contrast it? The phrase, “nobody said life was easy,” was coined with good reason. The truth is, life is hard work…but the beauty of life is that it has many facets.  We are constantly challenged to learn and grow.  And as we rise to those challenges we become stronger, wiser and better human beings. The universe holds all the answers we will ever need. It’s all there for the taking if we watch, listen, and trust our intuition. I invite you to follow me on my journey as I explore the many paths to happiness, and the many avenues that will lead us to living life to the fullest. I wish you serenity and joy in your life. ~ Randi

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Cancer: A Holistic Approach

Posted on March 28, 2012 by rand8492

Transcript from my podcasted radio show A Fine Time for Healing that airs on March 29, 2012

Cancer is a frightening illness. Even the most resilient of us suddenly feel powerless upon learning that we have cancer.  Not knowing where to turn, we find ourselves relinquishing control of our bodies to someone else, usually to the oncologist. This loss of control promotes feelings of helplessness and hopelessness. The purpose of the show today is to empower you with knowledge and options should you or someone you love suddenly be faced with such an earth-shattering diagnosis.

According to some estimates, around 150 people are diagnosed with cancer every hour in the United States and one out of every four Americans will develop it. Science has vastly improved the ability to diagnose cancer early on and when cancer is diagnosed early the chances of survival increase significantly.  According to the American Cancer Society, 25-30 percent of deaths can be prevented by early diagnosis and proper treatment.

Tens of billions of dollars have been spent trying to find a cure for cancer yet the disease and the mortality rates resulting from it are steadily rising. Besides the ability for early diagnosis and the creation of new pharmaceuticals to kill the cancer, science has made no progress. The irony is that the drugs used to destroy the cancer can kill us in other ways.  And if the drugs don’t kill us they leave us with a laundry list of permanent side effects to suffer with for the rest of our lives. 

Cancer is on the rise. The only way we can win the war against it is with an understanding of what is causing the epidemic. Scientific evidence suggests that up to one-third of the 500,000 plus cancer deaths occurring in the US each year are related to nutrition and lifestyle.

Cancer is a class of diseases characterized by out-of-control cell growth. Some scientists believe that it is a type of highly aggressive virus that takes hold when the immune system is somehow compromised.

No one knows for sure why we get cancer or why one person gets it and another person doesn’t. We do know the risk factors that increase the odds of getting it. Up to eighty-five percent of cancers can be prevented by avoiding smoking or using tobacco, alcohol abuse, sun or any type of UV exposure, and poor nutrition. The American Cancer Society estimated that in the year 2000 about 171,000 cancer deaths were expected to be caused by tobacco use, and about 19,000 cancer deaths were to be related to excessive alcohol use, frequently in combination with tobacco use.

High levels of radiation from x-rays and radiation therapy can damage normal cells and increase the risk of cancer, as can long-term exposure to chemicals like pesticides, radon, asbestos, and uranium. Twenty percent of cancers are hereditary; though that doesn’t mean a relative of someone who had cancer will automatically get the disease. It just raises the risk factor.

More and more patients, disillusioned with cancer treatments that have devastating side effects, burdening expenses they can’t afford to pay, and surgeries that leave them debilitated, in pain, or disfigured, are turning to alternative therapies. Unlike chemotherapy and radiation, toxic treatments that destroy normal cells along with the cancer, alternative therapies aim to cleanse the body from toxins and stimulate its natural defenses.

Many cancer patients who were told they were going to die by orthodox doctors tried alternative therapies and fully recovered. Some were able to prolong their survival time and their quality of life. Not everyone does well on alternative cancer therapies—there is no guarantee. But given the guaranteed side effects of orthodox cancer therapies available today, the most logical approach to healing is a holistic one.

The word “holistic” means relating to or concerned with complete systems rather than with the analysis of, treatment of, or dissection into parts. A holistic approach addresses the body, mind, and spirit. Disease of any type indicates that the body is imbalanced or has energy blockages.

A holistic approach works to prevent disease while restoring or maintaining the body’s natural balance and flow of energy. Holistic therapies aim at treating the whole body, not just the symptoms. Practitioners seek out the root of the problem so they can address the source and symptoms of disease. Then therapies are combined with healthy living to support the body in doing what it was designed to do—heal itself. It is easier to prevent cancer than to reverse it, but it can be reversed with the use of holistic therapies, good dietary habits, and lifestyle changes.

We live in an environment that heavily taxes our immune systems on a daily basis. Dangerous chemicals and pesticides are added to our food, air, and water supplies. Artificial hormones are added to meat, poultry, and dairy products. We are constantly exposed to electro-magnetic fields given off by microwaves, television, cell phones, portable phones, appliances, heating pads, electric blankets, and computers.

As our bodies accumulate the constant onslaught of toxins they are subjected to, the immune system gradually becomes more and more suppressed. Disease can only develop and thrive in a body that is compromised. A toxic body lacking in nutrients creates the perfect storm for cancer to take hold.

The most effective approach to holistic healing incorporates eight elements:

1. Proper nutrition and clean water 

2. Detoxification

 3. Immune building

4. Oxygen therapy

5. Natural chemotherapies

6. Lifestyle changes: adequate sleep, sunlight & exercise

7. A positive attitude: emotional/mental factors

8. Spiritual and energetic: healing/cleansing

Proper evaluation and testing by a skilled practitioner must be completed to determine the best approach to healing before beginning any holistic regimen. There are many types of holistic practitioners and many alternative therapies.  The ancient healing practices of Acupuncture and Chinese medicine, and Ayurvedic medicine are very effective in balancing out the body, preventing and treating diseases, and restoring the body back to optimum health.

We are all nutrient deficient. Besides the overall bad eating habits prevalent in our society, over-farming has depleted our soils, leading to widespread trace element and mineral deficiencies in the foods we eat. The proper balance of elements and minerals is essential in the prevention and treatment of many diseases, including cancer.  And because we are nutritionally deficient, our bodies don’t effectively absorb the vitamins and minerals we do take in.

A thorough blood test should be done to check for deficiencies such as vitamin D which is important for immunity. A urine test for toxic metals is very important in determining the body’s toxic metal load that may interfere with immunity and healing. Hair analysis can pin down nutritional deficiencies and absorption problems. If your doctor or practitioner does not do alternative testing procedures you can have them done on your own through directlabs.com.

The most effect anti-cancer strategy begins with proper nutrition and water that is filtered. Diet is the number one factor in determining the success or lack of success of any cancer treatment. It is vital to know which foods interfere with the treatment and which foods feed cancer cells.

The first thing to eliminate from the diet is refined sugar because it feeds and strengthens cancer cells. Natural sweeteners such as honey and maple syrup should also be eliminated while cancer cells are active. Sugar substitutes aren’t any better—they are known to damage the body and have been linked to cancer in numerous studies. Artificial sweeteners must be removed from the diet, the exception being the herb stevia. Stevia can be safely used to sweeten food and drinks as long as it is not chemically altered through processing.

Processed foods, carbonated beverages, coffee, and alcohol all interfere with healing and may fuel the cancer’s growth. Purified water is a must because the chlorine and fluoride added to city water has also been known to cause and fuel cancer.

Animal protein should be restricted to small amounts or eliminated from the diet entirely if possible.  Only organic, pasture fed beef, organic free-range poultry, or wild-caught fish should be eaten. Dairy products and all foods that promote excess mucus in the body should also be avoided.

Countless studies have linked trans-fatty acids, processed unsaturated fats, to cancer.  You may see foods labeled as monounsaturated or polyunsaturated.  Avoid them—they are also trans-fats. Fast food, fried food, and packaged food like cookies, crackers, potato chips, and french fries are high in trans-fats and should be avoided.

The best fats are unsaturated fats from plant sources. Healthy fats should be liquid at room temperature. Canola oil, flaxseed oil and olive oil are three examples. All fats, even healthy essential fatty acids from nuts, seeds, avocados, and fish like tuna and salmon should be kept to a minimum, no more than fifteen percent of the diet. Fats tend to slow down the digestive process and large quantities may speed up the growth of cancerous tumors.

A gluten free diet is recommended until the cancer is stabilized. Refined flour isn’t good for anything and should be eliminated. Though whole grains like wheat, oats, barley, and rye are normally very nutritious they are controversial when it comes to a cancer diet. Some experts say that they should be avoided because their sugar and gluten content is hard on the digestion. When the body is in a weakened state due to cancer, the less strain put on it the better. Non gluten whole grain substitutes like quinoa, buckwheat, millet, and amaranth are very nutritious and easier on the body 

The best diet for preventing or fighting cancer is one that is predominantly plant-based. A plant-based diet means eating mostly vegetables, fruits, nuts, grains, and beans.  The less processed these foods are—the less they’ve been cooked, peeled, mixed with other ingredients, stripped of their nutrients, or otherwise altered from the way they came out of the ground—the better. Be sure to chew your food well to make the digestion of it easier.

Another benefit of eating plant-based foods is that it will also increase your fiber intake. Fiber, also called roughage or bulk, is the part of grains, fruits, and vegetables that your body can’t digest. Fiber plays a key role in keeping your digestive system clean and healthy. It helps keep food moving through your digestive tract and it also moves cancer-causing compounds out before they can create harm.

The American Cancer Society recommends eating at least 2½ cups of fruits and vegetables each day to help lower cancer risk. These foods contain important vitamins, minerals, phytochemicals, and antioxidants and are usually low in calories. In general, those with the most color – dark green, red, yellow, and orange – have the most nutrients. Try to work in a variety of fruits and vegetables every day.

Certain organic fruits, vegetables, and herbs should be eaten in abundance because they protect the body from getting cancer and inhibit its growth while also cleansing, strengthening, and repairing it. These include green leafy vegetables, cabbage, broccoli, cauliflower, sea weed, berries, and dark grapes.  Garlic, ginger, turmeric and green tea are also good. Oral supplementation of digestive enzymes with meals and systemic enzymes on an empty stomach will further aid healing.

In addition to eating a healthy diet, toxins should be avoided. Toxic chemicals are found in things we use everyday like shampoo, toothpaste, and aluminum cookware. Electricity emitted by electric ranges and microwaves is also toxic to the body. Mercury dental fillings are poison to the body.  You may want to think about having them removed by a holistic dentist who is experienced and has the proper equipment for the removal.

The more toxic a body is the less oxygen can reach the cells. Cellular oxygen depletion and starvation leads to disease. It has been proven that cancer cells cannot grow where sufficiently oxygenated blood and tissues exist. A high alkaline diet achieved by eating eighty percent raw foods is one way to oxygenate the body. The body is easily oxygenated through regular exercise, deep breathing, and drinking purified water. The recommended amount of water one should drink is eight, 8 ounce glasses of water per day. Activated oxygen also known as ozone is successfully used in the hospitals of certain other countries.  Drinking ozonated water is a remedy that can be done at home.

For healing to take place the body has to be cleansed of all accumulated toxins and metabolic wastes. Ask your practitioner if your body is working well enough to eliminate the toxins. If there are energy blockages, they must be removed before considering detoxification or the effort will be fruitless.

Many effective toxic cleansing products can be found in health food stores but consult your holistic practitioner before using them. The surge of released toxins can make you very sick—those who are already immune deficient or in a weakened state should cleanse their bodies gradually.

Fasting is one way to release toxic accumulation. It helps the body to rejuvenate and heal. Some people find coffee enemas helpful since they prevent toxins from being reabsorbed into the body and work to cleanse the blood and liver. Always speak with a health care practitioner before fasting or using enemas.

Other ways to detoxify and purify the body are stretching, perspiring, and juicing. Stretching releases acids from the tissues.  Perspiring purges toxins through the skin, and juicing alkalizes and cleans tissues. Jumping on a rebounding trampoline moves lymph fluid, flushes waste, and stimulates white blood cells.

White blood cells identify, attack, and destroy abnormal cells then remove them from the body through the lymph system and organs of elimination. They are our immune system’s army.

The immune system, a network of cells, tissues, and organs that work together is our body’s defense against harmful intruders and abnormal cell development. When the body is stressed, any cell within it can mutate and cause a malignancy.  A healthy immune system will stop the mutated cell from growing and spreading. Therefore, in preventing or fighting cancer our immune systems must be strong and working optimally.

Researchers continue to investigate the immune boosting potential of a number of different nutrients. Some of the natural supplements that have drawn their attention are: aloe vera, astragalus membranes, Echinacea, garlic, ginseng, and licorice root.

Researchers, including some at Harvard Medical School, are finding evidence of a relationship between “good” bacteria in the digestive tract, and the immune system. Evidence supports that good bacteria strengthens the immune system.  These good bacteria, also known as Probiotics, Acidophilus  Lactobacillus and Bifidobacterium are found in yogurt and can be purchased just about everywhere in the form of supplements.

Until the natural defenses do kick in, some people need to take a cancer killing formula as a component of the entire holistic cancer treatment protocol. Many natural, non-toxic chemotherapies can be used to kill malignancies. What is needed and what will work is an individual matter—one to be assessed by a holistic professional.

One natural chemotherapy is called Cansema Tonic I made by Alpha Omega Labs. The main ingredient is chaparral, a traditional cancer remedy. Supposedly it taste horrible and is hard on the stomach. Amygdalin, also known as vitamin B17 or laetrile, selectively kills cancer cells without harming healthy cells. It is available in oral supplements or can be intravenously administered. Intravenously administered laetrile is not FDA approved and is illegal to use in the United States.  Other countries are using this therapy with positive results. Amygdalin naturally occurs in plant foods like apple seeds, apricot pits, and bitter almonds. Decades of clinical evidence and case studies show that it is effective in destroying cancer cells.

There are other treatments that indirectly kill cancer cells by cutting off the blood supply to tumors such as melatonin, shark cartilage, and shark liver oil.

As with every aspect of the holistic healing protocol, before taking any cancer killing formulas, a holistic therapist should be consulted.

A very important component of a holistic approach to cancer, one that should not be overlooked, is the role played by the mind and emotions. Attitude plays a big part in the healing process. We each have the power to control our thoughts, attitudes, and reality. A positive attitude reduces emotional stress, therefore aids in the healing process. Many people find the use of positive affirmations helpful in programming their mind against the cancer and staying optimistic. Visualization techniques can be used to change the way the illness is viewed.

Spirituality is an essential part of any healing practice. Spiritual practice helps in gaining acceptance of the cancer condition.  In order to spiritually heal, one must first settle unresolved conflicts, free negative, toxic emotions like anger, regret, resentment, and fear, and practice forgiveness. Clearing away negative baggage expands the capacity for giving and receiving healing love.

Prayer and meditation are ways to connect with one’s source of faith and strengthen it. Prayer and meditation also provide the needed relaxation that relieves stress and allows the body’s natural healing process to work.

To survive one must have hope. Listening to or reading encouraging stories about other cancer survivors helps keep that hope alive and strong.

The medical world with its conventional methods of treating cancer does not profess to have all the answers. Many oncologists are partnering with holistic practitioners to support the healing process and provide their patients with the best treatments possible. Complementary, integrative therapies are becoming more and more popular in Western medicine cancer treatment plans. Prestigious academic cancer centers such as Harvard, Memorial Sloan Kettering, MD Anderson, and Duke are incorporating integrative oncology within their practice of taking care of patients living with and beyond cancer.

No cancer treatment, conventional or otherwise, comes with a guarantee. Healing depends on the level of toxicity in the body, the degree of nutritional deficiency, the amount of energy blockages that need to be cleared, the person’s attitude and faith, and how well the holistic protocol is adhered to.

In the course of treatment the patient will have good days and bad days.  Detoxification is not always comfortable.  Most people feel lousy during the process of expelling toxins from the body. The important thing to remember is that the ill feelings are side effects of toxins leaving the body, not toxins being introduced into the body. When you think of it that way, doesn’t a holistic approach make more sense?

Everyone diagnosed with a cancer should do their own research and explore alternative options. People should be active participants in their healing process so they feel like they have power over their disease, not like the disease has power over them.  The holistic protocol requires discipline, commitment, and resolve. It may be difficult at times to keep up the strict regimen but the benefits far outweigh the inconveniences. Once the healing begins and results are achieved the efforts will well be worth it. Cancer survivors are amazing testaments to the hope, strength, and determination of the human spirit.

Following is a list of very good books and websites about alternative cancer approaches:

WHAT’S KILLING YOU AND WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT! by Donald Monus and David Hamilton

The Gerson Therapy: The Proven Nutritional Program for Cancer and Other Illnesses by Morton Walker and Charlotte Gerson

Healing the Gerson Way: Defeating Cancer and Other Chronic Diseases by Charlotte Gerson, Beata Bishop and Joanne Shwed

Fighting Cancer with Knowledge and Hope: A Guide for Patients, Families, and Health Care Providers (Yale University Press Health & Wellness) by Richard C. Frank MD 

How to Cure Cancer Naturally by Jay North

A Cancer Battle Plan Sourcebook: A Step-by-Step Health Program to Give Your Body a Fighting Chance by David J. Frahm 

Anticancer, A New Way of Life, New Edition by David Servan-Schreiber MD PhD

Outsmart Your Cancer: Alternative Non-Toxic Treatments That Work (Second Edition)With CD by Tanya Harter Pierce 

Rethinking Cancer: Nontraditional Approaches to the Theories, Treatments, and Prevention of Cancer by Ruth Sackman  

Cancer: Curing the Incurable Without Surgery, Chemotherapy, or Radiation by William Donald Kelley and Fred Rohe

Surviving Cancer Emotionally: Learning How to Heal by Roger Granet 

Nature’s Cancer Fighting Foods by Verne Varona

http://www.healingcancernaturally.com

http://www.integrativeoncology-essentials.com

http://www.cancertutor.com

 

 

 

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Emotionally Needy Friends: Where Do You Draw the Line?

Posted on February 20, 2012 by rand8492


Friendship is one of life’s greatest gifts. It is a fulfilling relationship that is shared by two people who care about each other, trust each other, and want only the best for each other. A good friendship is honest, loyal, and truthful; good friends understand and accept each other in ways no one else can.  

A healthy friendship feels good to both parties. It is positive, supportive, and comforting whether times are good or bad. Friends see each other through the best of times and the worst of times, and through it all the relationship remains uplifting and fun. Friends make us laugh, feel good about ourselves; they enhance our life experience.

Sometimes an initially healthy, energizing friendship turns weighty and oppressive; the needy scale begins tipping in one direction and never balances back out.  Being together is no longer fun—nearly every encounter becomes downright depressing.  But your friend was there for you in the past and you feel obligated to be there for them now.  The problem is that your debt never seems to get paid off.

If you are wondering whether or not you are saddled with an emotionally needy friend, consider the following questions:

1. Despite all your help does your friend always seem to be unhappy?
2. Are you helping your friend more than they help you?
3. Does your friend dominate every phone call or interaction by talking about their problems?
4. Does your friend show little or no interest in your life or your problems?
5. Does your friend make the same mistakes over and over or choose one destructive relationship after another?
6. Does your friend feel better after dumping on you and you feel worse?
7. Do you wish you could avoid contact with your friend?
8. Do you feel trapped in the friendship?
9. Do you dread every encounter with your friend, or does every encounter leave you feeling drained and exhausted?

You are probably a very good listener and want to be a good friend—you want to be supportive of whatever your friend is going through. That is understandable. But be clear on what it means to be a good friend and what it means to be supportive.

A healthy friendship is reciprocal and balanced; is requires an equal amount of give and take, time and effort. Good friends act as sounding boards for each other—issues bounce back and forth; they are not absorbed. A friendship is not a therapist/patient relationship.

Supportiveness with a friend leads to personal growth, not neediness. Supporting a friend means giving them a hand up, not a hand out. A good friend will appreciate your kind and generous efforts, not take advantage of them and become dependent on you. A good friend respects you—they do not want to be a burden on you.

Why do you allow yourself to remain in an unhealthy friendship? Ask yourself these questions:

1. Do you need or like to feel needed?
2. Do you see yourself as the glue that holds people together?
3. Is a needy friend better than no friend at all?
4. Is your friend occasionally fun to be around so you justify their being a downer the other 90% of the time?
5. Do you see other people’s problems as more important than your own?
6. Do you take on other people’s problems to keep the focus off your own?
7. Do you feel unworthy of healthy relationships?
8. Do you feel guilty when you say no?
9. Do you have trouble defining and protecting your personal boundaries?

If your friend has been needy for a significant amount of time and the imbalance has become the pattern of your relationship, it will be very difficult to change the nature of your friendship. Whatever you give will never be satisfactory or enough for them.

They may have chased all their other friends away and you may be the only friend they have left, but that is not your problem—people have to learn to stand on their own two feet. You should never do for others what they are capable of doing for their selves. We should want to make our friends stronger and more self-sufficient, not weaker and more dependent. Sometimes that requires tough love.

There are ways to deal with a needy friend. Here are some suggestions:

1. Be honest. Tell your friend what is bothering you and how it is affecting you. Explain that you just can’t play that role anymore.
2. Change the nature of your relationship. Set boundaries and know when to say no.
3. Plan enjoyable things to do with your friend to change their focus. When the fun is over, the time together should be over. Do not let every friendly interaction end with you listening to their problems.
4. Suggest that they find some other friends, join clubs, or volunteer to take the pressure off of you. It is unreasonable for a friend to expect you to be their one and only.
5. Tell your friend that you have to focus on caring for your own needs and/or your family’s needs.
6. Take a hiatus from the friendship. You deserve a time out and you deserve to enjoy your life.
7. Keep yourself busy. Fill your schedule with plans, commitments, and time with other friends.
8. Gradually distance yourself from the friendship by spending less and less time with them.
9. Recommend that they seek professional therapy. If they are seeing a therapist that is not helping them, insist that they find another one.
10. Recommend that they see a doctor who can evaluate them and if necessary prescribe anti-anxiety or anti-depression medications.
11. If you have tried everything and nothing works, it is time to say goodbye to the friendship.

If you are in an unbalanced relationship with a needy friend there is no time like the present to remedy the situation. You will both benefit from your efforts. If you have a pattern of attracting and perpetuating these types of friendships, it is time to look inward and figure out why these types of friendships are acceptable to you. It is not healthy behavior and it often signals a bigger issue.

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The Power of Human Touch

Posted on January 30, 2012 by rand8492

Excerpt from the transcript of my upcoming February 2, 2012 radio show episode on A Fine Time for Healing.  To listen to the show in it’s entirety, please visit The Power of Human Touch

In today’s age of high tech communication, there is major missing factor—human touch. Nature has designed us to connect with people on a physical level.  Our need to touch and be touched is essential; as necessary to human survival as the need for food and shelter. This subtle, wordless form of communication is the first language we learn. Momentary touches such as an arm around someone’s shoulder, a pat on the back, touching someone’s arm, or a high five can communicate emotions clearly and rapidly; they can be  more effective than words or any our of other senses. Touch is fundamental to human bonding, emotional development and wellbeing, and physical health.

The average human adult has about twenty square feet (two square meters) of skin containing tens of thousands of nerve endings and sensory receptors. It is our body’s largest organ. Our skin tells us what is going on around us as well as what is happening inside our bodies.

When the sensory receptors in your skin are stimulated, the feel-good hormones oxytocin and dopamine, and the pain relieving hormone serotonin are released; the stress hormone cortisol is decreased. There are physiological reasons for the comfort and relaxation you get from a simple hug. A hug stimulates sensory nerve fibers in your skin that send a signal to the vagus nerve in the brain. This nerve tells your body to slow down your heart rate, reduce your blood pressure, and calm you down.

The benefits of touch begin the moment we are born. We first become acquainted with the world through the skin to skin contact we have with our mothers. A newborn needs the stimulation of touch to build neural connections between their skin and their brain. Holding, cuddling, and breast-feeding (if possible) a baby are crucial to their development. The messages a baby receives through touch are extremely important to their future wellbeing. Study after study has confirmed this. The touch an infant receives from their caregivers teaches them how to explore the world around them and define their relationship to it. As children grow up they continue their need to touch and be touched.

Young children rush to the sides of their parents when they come home wanting a hug and a kiss, or wanting to be held. Children love to crawl into their parents’ laps and hold their hands. The physical contact makes them feel secure, loved, and cared for. A parent’s touch can magically take away a child’s fears and worries. And there are actual emotional and physical healing benefits to rubbing or kissing a child’s boo-boo, beyond the placebo effect.

Many studies have been done on the health benefits of pet ownership. Petting or cuddling an animal can lower blood pressure, reduce anxiety, and help with depression. Petting causes endorphins, chemicals in the body that suppress pain, to be released, and levels of oxytocin have been show to rise in both the animal and the owner within three minutes of the physical contact. It has been shown that physical contact with a pet can actually improve the survival rates of heart attack victims, and hospice patients who like animals find great comfort in petting them.

Without being aware, we have all sent healing to animals and other people through our touch. Every human being has the ability to transmit healing energies to others through their hands. The effectiveness of the healing depends on the capacity of one’s body to contain and channel it. But healing energy techniques can be taught to anyone who is interested in learning.

For thousands of years China has used acupressure, a technique based on the principles of acupuncture, to promote wellness and treat disease. The theory is that our bodies have twelve major meridians that connect specific organs or networks of organs. This network organizes communication throughout the body. When one of these meridians is blocked or out of balance, dis-ease can occur. By touching points along particular energy meridians with gentle pressure, these blockages are opened up and the body is restored to health and balance. I have relied on Chinese medicine to keep my body in balance for twenty-one years. In my opinion there is not a holistic or traditional medical therapy out there that is better.

The Japanese use a form of touch therapy that is based on traditional Chinese medicine and is similar to acupressure and acupuncture called Shiatsu. It also uses pressure points along meridians to balance out the flow of energy. Another Japanese touch therapy technique and form of spiritual healing is called Reiki. Reiki is based on the idea that we have a spiritually guided life force energy coursing through our bodies that gives us life. Reiki, administered by the laying on of hands, treats the whole person, body, mind, spirit, and emotion. It reduces stress, relaxes the body, and promotes feelings of peace and wellbeing. Reiki is also effective when used in conjunction with traditional medical therapies, as it can relieve side effects and help the body to recover.

It has been found that when practitioners use a technique called “therapeutic touch,” a modern day interpretation of several ancient healing practices, they are able to relieve pain. Therapeutic touch is a process of moving hands above the surface of the body, barely touching the skin, and exchanging energy.

Another touch therapy that we are all familiar with is massage. Massage therapy is known to be effective in relieving pain and relaxing muscles, but it is just as effective in reducing stress and promoting the well-being of our bodies and minds. After a massage, levels of endorphins increase creating an overall feeling of wellness and a minimized perception of pain. The stress hormone cortisal drops and there is a reduction in the hypothalamic area of the brain which controls our fight and flight response. Regular massage helps to improve the circulatory, lymphatic, immune, and nervous systems. It improves mental focus and alertness, promotes relaxation, and eases depression.

Unlike sight, hearing, taste, and smell, touch does not lose its potency as we grow older. In fact the need to touch and be touch increases with age. We often see elderly people patting each others’ hands. The elderly need touch as much as infants do. Many elderly people are lonely and depressed after losing spouses and friends. In addition to feeling isolated, lacking social interaction, and losing their independence, they miss the connection of human touch.

No other form of communication is as universally understood as touch. Whether sighted or blind, hearing or deaf, male or female, touch defines our world. We are never too young or too old to be touched. Through touch we express affection, appreciation, compassion, and support to others. Through touch we build interpersonal bonds. No other sense is as vital to our physiological health as touch is; we need touch as much as we need food and water. A compassionate touch of our hand or a reassuring hug can take away our fears, soothe our anxieties, and fill the emptiness of being lonely.

Hug your family, hug your children, hug your friends, and hug your pets. There is no better way to give love to others and receive it at the same time. Volunteer to help with animals, children, the elderly, the sick, and the dying. Your touch can make all the difference in their world.

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Karma: The Cause and Effect of Our Actions

Posted on November 11, 2011 by rand8492

September 9, 2011  Transcript from my radio show, A Fine Time for Healing 

The word Karma is new age and trendy.  We see it used on food products, bath and body products, on business names, as titles of songs, etc.  But how many of us really know what it means?

Karma is often thought of as reciprocal punishment, with the same connotation as, “An eye for an eye.”  Many people use the word Karma to describe negative forces that they are powerless over, using comments like,  “I can’t help that I keep losing my job.  It’s just my karma.”  And some people misinterpret the word to mean fate. 

Thinking in terms of the universal law, I knew there had to be a deeper meaning.  There is so much more to our actions in life than what we witness.  Life is not about punishment, it’s about learning.  If we all make mistakes and we are here to learn, then why would we constantly be punished for our imperfect actions?  It just doesn’t make sense.  What does make sense is the theory that Karma is based on every action producing an equal and opposite reaction.  It has nothing to do with punishment. 

Karma, a word that comes from the Sanskrit language, basically means “action.”  It doesn’t describe the effect of our action – it’s the action itself.  We constantly generate it by our thoughts and their resulting actions. You may ask yourself, “What’s the point of doing good things if I’ll never reap the benefits?”  The point is that our thoughts and actions become the cause that will eventually be followed by the effect.  We have to live with the consequences of our actions.  Karma is the way the universe teaches us the lessons we need to learn.

Believing in Karmic reaction is faith based – the effect may or may not be experienced in this lifetime, though sometimes what goes around comes right back at you like a speedy boomerang.  Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “You cannot do a kindness too soon, for you never know how soon it will be too late.”

Karma cannot exist without reincarnation, the act of repeatedly being born and dying. Retained in the soul’s eternal consciousness, just like in the seed of a plant, is everything that ever happens to us.  Everything we do, eternally impacts us.  Good and bad karmic ripples can affect us at any time or any lifetime. 

Some Eastern religions like Hinduism and Buddhism, where karma is a fundamental concept, believe that reincarnation is the way we renew our spirit.  Those countless lifetimes give us the chance to refine our karma and get it right.  The positive things we do in each lifetime contribute to the evolution of our souls; good deeds will benefit us in our next life.  Hindus believe that when our souls have evolved to perfection we will stop reincarnating and merge with the source of all existence.  This is called moksha.  It is similar to what Buddhists call nirvana, though unlike moksha, it is possible, though extremely difficult to achieve nirvana while still in our physical bodies.  

Are you picturing an omnipresent, universal presence or God who keeps track of our behavior.  A supreme being who hands out punishments like Zeus did when he got angry and hurled thunderbolts from the sky. How many times have you heard people who were in the middle of a crisis say, “Why is God punishing me like this” or “What did I do that made God so angry with me?” God does not punish us – he doesn’t sit around keeping score then doling out karma.  We are the creators of our own experiences. 

There is universal accountability but it isn’t always cut and dry.  Karma is part of the law of nature, not a courtroom of law.  The law of nature is rigid like basic math, no matter how you look at it, one plus one equals two.  There is no weighing and consideration done by the universe, no absolute right or wrong, no gray area.  It’s not some kind of cosmic game. Karma is strictly cause and effect.  It’s a guiding law that holds us completely accountable for our actions. 

The thing about karma is that you can’t trick it by going through the motions of living a good life, and doing good things.  It’s not about material success or earning merit awards.  It’s the intention behind your present motive that counts.  Doing things that benefit you but hurts others creates bad karma.  Anything you do from the heart that is beneficial to others produces good karma.

Let’s talk about intentions.  Say you are driving on the highway and it begins to rain.  The road gets slippery and somehow you lose control of your car.  You cause a terrible accident and someone dies as a result of it.  Was it your intention to kill another human being?  Of course it wasn’t.  Killing someone was not a deliberate act therefore it was not a karmic act.  You are not spiritually responsible for what occurred when it was not your intention to do it. The person who died may have been fulfilling their karma.  I’ll elaborate on how we affect each other’s karma a little later.  You could create good karma out of this horrible situation by offering the family of the deceased heartfelt kindness and compassion in the aftermath of the tragedy.  That is an intended act and therefore karmic.

Our souls are on a goal oriented journey.  They know what they are working on and working towards.  As souls, we decide the lessons and conditions in which to learn those things… before we are born.  We also carry all the loose ends of our past into our next life.  The karma we inherit from previous lives may play a huge role in determining our mental and physical characteristics.  Sometimes our characteristics have nothing to do with heredity.  That is why some traits cannot be explained.   We’ve all heard about young children with unexplainable talents.  There are children who are masters at playing the piano before the age of five, yet they have never taken a lesson. 

We always have free will…the chance to change the karmic path we’re on.  In order to change Karma, you have to first understand what your Karma’s about.  Then you have to analyze your patterns so you can alter them.  When the patterns you bring from past lives are changed, your destiny is changed.  You can free yourself from the cyclic pattern you’ve been stuck in.  It takes courage to apply what you understand.  But by facing your karma with inner strength and determination… you can change the path you’re on. 

To analyze your patterns, pay attention to recurrent themes.  What are the themes that continue to repeat themselves throughout your life?  Are you always having family issues, relationship issues, or money issues?  Have you had one failed marriage after another or constant problems with your children?  These prevalent themes in your life will continue, until you sit up, take notice, and decide to make changes. 

After becoming aware of the significant role these themes play in your life, you can begin to make changes.  You can work on overcoming the hurdles that you couldn’t jump before.  Maybe you thought it would take too much effort to work through those issues, and took the “why bother, what’s the use” stance.  But these related problems keep popping up for a reason.  The reason is to make you notice them and work through them.  Have you ever heard the bible verse, “As you sow, so shall you reap?”  Who benefits in the long run?  You do. 

Can you even begin to imagine what kind of karma people like Bernie Madoff, Ben Laden, or Sadam Hussein have created for their selves?  All three of these men have experienced rapid consequences for their behaviors in this life, and will probably carry those consequences into their next life.  Of course they won’t consciously remember the heinous crimes they committed, but they will experience and have to suffer the effects of their past life karma.  With karma, the payment often fits the crime.  For instance, in the case of Bernie Madoff, who out of greed unconscionably stole billions of dollars from people and businesses, and an estimated total of three billion dollars from twenty-seven charitable organizations, he may suffer destitute poverty, homelessness, and victimization in his next life.  In the case of Sadam Hussein, a tyrant whose tortuous executions, committed out of a lust for power, gain, and pure evil, amounted to an estimated total of eight hundred thousand people, he will probably suffer inhumane oppression and misery in his next life.  And Ben Laden, a cowardly terrorist who through his own hatred, called on Muslims to carry out his orders of suicide and the bombing deaths of tens of thousands of people around the world, and through 911 changed America forever, he may witness many people he loves dying tragic deaths, and may be a target of vicious, bitter hatred for his entire life. 

It may sound like it, but Karma is not exactly an eye for an eye.  If you murder someone in this life, they won’t necessarily come back in your next life and murder you.  You will have to experience the other point of view, maybe by suffering a loss yourself or losing someone you love, suddenly and tragically, though you probably won’t know why it happened.  Now you’re probably thinking, “Aren’t others sacrificed so that we may fulfill our karma? “ Yes others are sacrificed in our behalf but it’s not as heartless as you may imagine and it doesn’t necessarily create bad karma.  As I said before, we decide our lessons and conditions before we are born.  That plan involves incarnating with other souls whose karma we can learn from.  It is a pact we willingly make with each other. 

Things we say can be just as impactful as things we do.  Pay close attention to the way you word things because words do create karma.  If you start sentences with, “I’ll never be,” then you never will.  If you make comments like, “I’m not lucky,” then you won’t have good luck.  When speaking, try to use phrases that are positive and hopeful.  Instead of saying, “I don’t think I can do that,” say “I’ll try my best to do that.”

I’ll give you an example of how powerful our words can be.  My mother has never been a positive thinker.  I used to think she was psychic, or that she was a witch. Out of negativity, fear, and worry, she would warn me and my sisters that if we did A, B would happen…and B was always something negative.  Well, B often happened, just as she’d prophesized.  It was scary and eerie.  Unfortunately it didn’t work the same for positive things, though I have to say, there weren’t too many of those occasions.

When my daughter was a toddler she spent her week days with my parents while I worked.  My mother was attached and very protective of her granddaughter and she worried all the time about bad things happening to her.  I saw history repeating itself and it made me uneasy.  One day when my mother was over my house, she saw my two year old daughter standing in the kitchen in front of my 2-3 year old modern electric range/oven combo.  Brand new – nothing at all wrong with it.  The oven and the stove were not on.  In my mother’s usual fearful way she said to me, “Don’t let Cammy stand there.  The oven door might fall on her.”  I looked at her like she was crazy.  I told her not to be so ridiculous – that could never happen.  Then what do you know?  The oven door magically opens and falls on my daughter.  My mother had an “I told you so” angry look on her face.  Cammy didn’t get hurt but I was totally freaked out and called my mother a witch.  I could go on and on about other similar incidents.

Words are very powerful…need I say more?

There are many things we say and do that do not leave a karmic footprint.  General things we do to care for ourselves, like eating, showering, and exercising are karma exempt.  So are neutral activities such as reading or watching television.  These are things that don’t self promote or self praise, and they don’t affect the lives of others.  Foolish, irrational, or risky acts that end badly, but only impact the person doing them aren’t karmic.  Neither are the actions of someone who is mentally challenged or mentally ill.  And the same goes for our general life experiences. Not everything that happens to us in our life or in the world, whether good or bad, is karmic.

Your karma can be modified and changed by changing yourself.  The first way to modify it is through humility.  Take the spotlight off yourself and shine it on others.  Give of yourself to others.  Another way that you can cleanse your Karma is through forgiveness.  By forgiving yourself and others without conditions, you will achieve peace of mind and karmic healing. You can also modify your karma by learning from your mistakes.  Your goal is to learn from your errors, not repeat them.  That is how you will progress forward. Part of the universal law is that what you resist will persist.  So when you practice acceptance, without judgment or resistance, you will change the flow of your life. 

Karma is not only bad.  It may be responsible for many of the good things that occur in your life; so, practice being grateful.  Remember to give thanks for every gift you receive, large and small.  And remember to give back unselfishly.  Gratitude and generosity are excellent ways to attract more positivity to your life.  Another way to awaken and inspire changes in you is by reading spiritual articles and books that will connect you with a new perspective.  Self-help books and articles are very beneficial too.  Reading was the catalyst that inspired the most change in me, and it continues to inspire me and help me to grow. 

There are techniques that can be used, to cleanse karma that’s not based in this lifetime.  A regular practice of meditation, mantras, or prayer is likely to help to cleanse karmic residue.  There are many meditation exercises, prayers, and specific mantras that can be found by doing an internet search for “clearing karma.” Another very effective tool for cleansing negativity and negative karma is the use of light energy called, the violet flame, or violet fire.  This fascinating and easy technique is done through meditation and visualization.  I don’t have the time today to explain it, but if you’d like to know more about what the violet flame is and how to use it, you can google the words, violet flame, and find a lot of good information.

Maintaining karma is just as important as cleansing it.  Through maintenance you will continue to improve on achievements accomplished in other lives.  Without maintenance you will most likely set back any progress you brought to this life.  To continue further along with any karmic progress you’ve made in this life, and then take it with you into your next life, it’s advisable to strengthen positive inclinations like kindness and compassion.  Failure to strengthen those inclinations in this life will cause them to weaken, and you will lose the benefits of the good karma you’ve achieved.  And by turning bad karma into good karma while you’re here, you will take that with you into your next life.  So with the awareness, that whatever you do here will go along with you on your soul’s journey, be mindful of your actions, intentions, and words.

It’s important to know the parameters of your life and stay within them.  No two lives are the same.  What works well in someone else’s life may not work well in yours.  What they attract to their life may be karma based, just as yours may be.  What appears good or lucky in someone else’s life could be destructive to your life if the same things happened to you.  Don’t compare your life to others’.  Learn to accept your parameters.  They’re there for a reason, so work with them.  Your life operates a particular way, you decided the lessons and conditions of your life before you were born.  For instance, some of us attract money and some of us don’t.  If you can see by the patterns of your life that you don’t attract money, be conservative with it.  Don’t take risks with your money.  Don’t gamble with it or unwisely invest it.  Those things may work for others but they’re probably not meant to work for you. 

There’s an interpretation of Jewish scripture called a midrash.  A midrash is a scholarly philosophy that’s used to teach others.  One midrash tells this story:  God gets tired of hearing everyone complain about the conditions of their life.  So he takes everyone’s complaints, jumbles them up, and then he randomly passes them back out.  No one likes the complaint they’re given, and everyone begs for their own complaints back.  This story is meant to teach us that everyone has problems.  Life may seem rosier with your neighbor, but they don’t see it that way because they’re dealing with their own issues. And to them their issues feel as monumental as your issues do to you. 

As long as we live, breathe, and reincarnate, we will continue to create karma.   It is nearly impossible to completely eliminate karma.  Elimination can only be accomplished after achieving moksha or nirvana, the states of our souls evolving to perfection.  With moksha you will have fulfilled all the missions of your soul and will not reincarnate again.  And very few people throughout history have achieved nirvana while still in their physical bodies. 

Karma isn’t all negative; not by a long shot. We enjoy many positive karmic effects, though often the bad ones overshadow the good ones.  It’s all in the way we choose to view our lives.  Take an inventory of all the good things that exist for you and that have happened to you.  By doing this you may change your perspective which in turn changes your karma.

 

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Thanksgiving: A Time to Be Grateful

Posted on November 6, 2011 by rand8492

 

With the Thanksgiving holiday approaching, I find myself reflecting on all I have to be grateful for; I have much to acknowledge.

Each day I open my eyes to the morning light, look out into my lovely bedroom, and am reminded of how far I have come in life.  There was a time when I didn’t have two nickels to my name and couldn’t  put a roof over the heads of me and my daughter.  Now I have my dream home.  It’s not a mansion or a palace but it’s spacious, comfortable, beautiful inside and out, and paid for.  In these times of financial struggle, with so many homes being foreclosed on, I am more than grateful for the security I’ve been afforded.  I’ll never take that for granted.  I am truly blessed.

I’ve been married to my wonderful husband for twenty-three years.  He is a growth oriented partner whose love and devotion for me is limitless.  Before we met, I believed for many years that I was unlovable.  I felt  all alone in this world.  I’m grateful that the memories of those years have faded.   I give thanks every day for the abundance of free-flowing love and support I have in my life, and  for my incredible husband who reinforces my worth every day.  I am truly blessed.

I always knew that I wanted to have children, but there was a time, before I became a mother, that I didn’t feel worthy of  having such a miraculous gift bestowed upon me.   God believed otherwise, because he entrusted me with the love and care of two beautiful, healthy, amazing children; first a daughter, then a son.  They are the lights of my life.  Both of my adult children are authentic and grounded in all aspects of their lives.  They are motivated and successful in all they endeavor to do, and they are honest, loving, and caring people.  I am honored and grateful to be their mother.   I am truly blessed – may they continue to be blessed throughout their lives too.

I’m grateful for all  the loving, wonderful people I have in my life: my parents, my two incredible sisters, the remarkable family I gained when I married my husband, my loving and dear old friends, and the wonderful new friends that have come into my life.  These loyal, caring, and supportive individuals add immeasurable joy to my life; they lift my spirit higher with each cherished encounter.   I am truly blessed.

I have so much to be thankful for.  And though I am especially emphasizing my gratefulness in honor of the Thanksgiving holiday, I do make it a practice in my daily life to be grateful too.  I try to acknowledge all favors large and small without any expectation from the universe.  But I’ll let you in on a little secret: the more gratitude I offer, the richer my life becomes.  I highly recommend intregrating gratefulness into your daily life; you won’t believe the abundance it will bring you.  You’ll truly be blessed.

To all  my blog readers, radio show listeners, and those who have supported my memoir Fine…ly, I offer a world of thanks.  I promise…if you keep reading, I’ll keep writing.  If you keep listening, I’ll keep talking. 

And by the way, my family and I are vegetarians so hopefully one lucky turkey will live to see another year.

Best wishes for a very Happy Thanksgiving to you and your loved ones.

 

 

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Mother Fights System, Saves At Risk Children

Posted on October 31, 2011 by rand8492

In my March 17, 2011 article, Synchronicity: Life’s Amazing Signs and Meanings, I discuss the common expression, “There are no coincidences.” “Coincidental” experiences happen to us more frequently than we may realize, but they often go unnoticed for lack of our attention or our ability to understand the meanings. Whether you see these random, improbable occurrences in your life as signs or merely chance, you have to admit that sometimes they totally blow your mind! At times the message and/or the timing of it are so obvious that the meaning is clear and undeniable. Sometimes you intuit the importance, though you’re not sure exactly what it is.

Last week I had a hair salon appointment that had been scheduled late in the afternoon; a time that is untypical for me. The woman sitting in the chair next to me was friendly and commented on the unflattering effect of the fluorescent lighting over us. I agreed that the lighting was unbecoming to everyone’s skin tone. She introduced herself as Susan, I introduced myself, and a free flowing conversation was sparked.

One topic led to another and we found ourselves sharing the essences of our tragic, life altering stories about the drug addicts in our lives; the problems I had in the past with my ex-husband and the ongoing problems she has with her adult daughter. It was not a woe-is-me conversation, but testaments to the empowerment that adversity gave each of us and how we are using it to help others.

As a codependent specialist I often write and talk about the issues that keep people enmeshed in addictive, toxic, often dangerous relationships. When I’m asked what the turning point was that set me free, I always tell the following story:

I was in my late twenties, in my seventh or eighth month of pregnancy, desperately searching for ways to cope with my beyond hope, drug addicted husband, and make my marriage work. Each week I attended three twelve-step meetings along with other families experiencing problems with their drug addicted children or spouses. At one meeting, the group chairwoman pulled me aside and privately shared her wisdom with me. She said, “As the parent of an addict I am stuck with my problem for the rest of my life. I must find ways to cope with it. But you are young and you have your whole life ahead of you. You have a choice…you can leave.” Though her suggestion may sound obvious, the option of leaving had never even occurred to me. I was busy trying everything I could think of to make my marriage work. But when it came down to it, it was her message that eventually saved me and my daughter’s lives.

That message, combined with the immense love I had for my two month old baby girl and my fierce maternal instinct to protect her, empowered me to take her and leave my downward spiraling, drug addicted husband. I had no money to legally defend us and was terrified of her father getting private visitations or shared custody. It was a long scary road, but it ultimately worked out in my daughter’s best interest. I am forever grateful for the way her life and mine turned out.

Whenever I think about the message that ultimately freed me from my codependent patterns, I also think about the life sentence parents of addicts are burdened with. Though I’m strong, I’m also a devoted mother. I can’t imagine the strength it must take for parents, showing the toughest love of all, to turn their addicted child loose when all hope for recovery is lost. I don’t envy having to make such a devastating decision; one that only comes after countless sleepless nights, and after innumerable, gut-wrenching efforts at helping their child to get sober fail.

After years of desperately trying anything and everything she could to save her daughter, Susan had made some very tough choices. When it finally came down to it, Susan had more dire concerns than her own relationship with her hopelessly addicted daughter. There was a little girl, her beloved granddaughter, whose precious young life was at stake. Susan’s number one concern was to keep her grandchild stable, safe, and happy; to keep the child out of the perilous home environment she had while living with her mother.

Susan and her husband fought the system at every turn, desperately trying to prevent CPS from taking the child and putting her in the foster care system, or sending the child back to an unstable, drug addicted home. The paternal grandmother was often asked by her drug addicted son and his girlfriend (Susan’s daughter) to take care of the child, but that was a largely unsuitable environment for her as well – the grandfather, who also lived there, had previously served time in prison as a convicted pedophile.

Though they encountered one legal obstacle after another, Susan and her husband unyieldingly and inexhaustibly persisted, and won. They eventually succeeded in having her daughter’s parental rights terminated. At a time in their lives when under normal circumstances they would have the freedom to do as they please, they are now the legal, nurturing parents of their beautiful eight year old granddaughter. Susan is a working mother and her retired husband is a stay at home dad.

After having experienced so much adversity, running into one legal brick wall after another, Susan and her husband recognized a void in the system and decided to do something about it. They didn’t want other families to struggle and suffer as they had, trying to save at risk children and children caught up in the system. So they took action. They founded the nonprofit organization, Kids Have Rights.  Now Susan and her husband tirelessly advocate for the safety and best interest of children who never before had a voice. This highly essential organization works to protect children, support caregivers, educate the public, and push for meaningful changes in the laws.

I don’t know why the universe brought Susan and me together at that particular time and place; perhaps for friendship, though I suspect there is a greater purpose. One should never doubt the strength of two empowered mothers!  What I’m sure of and I say all the time, is that everything happens for a reason.  We only have to open our eyes, ears, and minds to recognize the messages that keep us on our path to spiritual growth.

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Life After Death: Where Do We Go From Here?

Posted on October 18, 2011 by rand8492

Transcript Excerpt from the  September 22, 2011 episode of my radio show, A Fine Time for Healing 

Death is one of the greatest mysteries of life.  Haven’t we all thought about what happens to us after we die.  Every religion claims to have the answer, but all the answers differ.  There are many points of view about the afterlife.  Is there a definitive answer?  Perhaps we are not meant to know the answer; perhaps we could not fully comprehend the answer.  In the show today, I’ll present the facts and theories as I know them, and then you can draw your own conclusions.

Through this show I’ll offer you my perspective on life after death, substantiated by personal experiences, case studies, and scientific research. Though I do believe in God, I am not a religious person.  My point of view never comes from a religious slant.  So if you’re listening today, hoping to understand more about life after death from a religious point of view, you may be disappointed.  I’m sure there are other shows and articles that will offer that perspective to you. 

Since “Earth” and “The Other Side,” where we go after we die, are merely two different dimensions, a difficult concept for most of us to grasp, communication between the two dimensions is absolutely possible.  I have personally experienced this awe inspiring phenomenon on a few occasions.   I am thoroughly convinced that our loved ones who have passed on are very much alive and very accessible to us.  

I’ll tell you about my latest experience.  A little over a year ago I had a reading with a medium named Jonathan Lewis.  Jonathan, a friend of renowned medium John Edward knew nothing about me.  He was in New York, I was in Florida.  He did the reading over the telephone.  And I have to say that it was one of the most joyous, impactful experiences of my life.  Not the least bit eerie.  I made the appointment hoping to hear from my ex-husband Keith who had died twenty years prior from a drug overdose.  I’m happily married and have long since moved on, but I wanted to connect with him because I was in the middle of writing my memoir, Fine…ly and Keith was a main character in the story.  There were times, as I was writing my manuscript, that I felt his presence very strongly; especially when I was recalling painful experiences that had to do with him.  Due to limited time I can’t elaborate on that story, but if you’d like to hear it you can listen to my July 19th show, A Woman’s Journey to Find Hope, Love, and Destiny.  Jonathan was passing on the information but he didn’t know who was coming through, but I knew almost immediately.  There was no doubt that it was Keith.  In the first five minutes of the reading Keith’s smart ass personality came through loud and clear. He said that in life, some people thought of him as obnoxious.  But he didn’t care…because that’s just who he was.  That was all very true.  He said that had died from drugs and that he had died quickly and alone.  Those facts were also true.  And he wanted me to pass the message on to his mother that he, his brother, and his grandfather, all three dead, were worried about her because she wasn’t doing very well. I tell the story of what he said in my blog article entitled, Message to Loved Ones Confirms Belief of Life After Death. Keith described the three pets that we had had together and that had died many years ago. And he described my husband’s German shepherd that had died over twenty years ago – he even knew the circumstances of his death.  My husband and Keith had never met.  Keith and my husband’s dog had never met – I’d only met the dog once.  He wanted me and my husband to know, that all four animals were with him and being taken care of by him.  The next things he talked about were things that he could only have known by recently watching me.  Keith was making references to butterflies, but Jonathan didn’t want to pass that information on to me because it seemed too general and too cliché.  Keith insisted that Jonathan mention the butterflies.  I knew immediately what he was referring to.  Whenever I find a butterfly outside that has died, I bring it inside and attach it to an artificial topiary in my house.  Very few people know that I do that.  Amazing!  Keith commented that he likes my husband – that I did much better the second time…and that my husband was much easier to train than he was. No truer words have ever been spoken!  He knew a lot about my husband and even described a very unusual birthmark in the shape of a dagger wound that my husband has on his lower back; a place where no one can see it.  Then he kidded me about giving my husband a hard time about not fixing the bathroom tile.  That conversation actually took place one week before.  I could go on and on.  There were so many accurate details shared in the hour and fifteen minutes that he came through.  It was a fascinating experience and left me totally convinced that there is life after death.

I’m not the only one who believes in it.  According to various polls taken on the subject, the majority of people around the world believe in some form of life after death.  Yet it is often claimed that there is no evidence to prove that live after death exists.  That is simply not true.  In fact, the evidence is overwhelming.

In 1977 a ground-breaking book called Life After Life was published.  It had been written by Dr. Raymond Moody, a psychologist and medical doctor.  Before his book was published, very few people had ever heard of the near-death experience.  Doctors and psychiatrists had heard reports of them from their patients who had been resuscitated after dying on the table, but had been reluctant to risk their reputations by sharing these bizarre incidents with others.  And many people who had had these experiences did not talk about them for fear of embarrassment or having their sanity questioned.  Dr. Moody, a pioneer in the field of near death experiences, wrote Life After Life after studying 150 people who had been brought back to life after experiencing clinical death.  He found that the testimonies and descriptions given by these people were incredibly similar.  And these extraordinarily vivid near death experiences were so positive, that after the people were revived, many had a new lease on life and an unshakeable belief in the hereafter.

Based on his research Dr. Moody concluded that the following experiences are common to all those who have had near death experiences.  After the person has been declared dead they describe feeling more alive than ever.  They float up out of their bodies and watch any efforts to resuscitate them from above.  At first they can’t understand how they can be dead, but when they realize that no one can see them they gain the understanding and accept that they have died.  At this point, any earthy roles they have played in life are gone. The uniqueness of their personality remains.  Any pain that they have suffered is gone, any disabilities they had disappear.  Their senses become more acute, their memory is clear, and they feel energized.

Then transcendental experiences begin happening.  The people say that the feelings experienced are indescribable in our language, utterly beautiful and serene beyond anyone’s ability to put into words.  They become aware of a tunnel and feel themselves going through it.  A warm, brilliant, accepting light at the end of the passageway gives feelings of peace and comfort, unlike anything they have ever experienced before.  Relatives and friends, who have died before them are waiting within the light; there to greet them and guide them through the transition.  Their loved ones don’t appear in a physical body, but more in a recognizable form of light – and they seem to be in the prime of their life.  Then they are met by a religious figure that they feel close to; Christians report being met by Christ, Jewish people may be met by God or an angel.  Based on their religious beliefs, everyone has a different experience. The religious figure asks them one question.  The communication does not take place in the form of words, but rather in the form of an immediate awareness.  The essence of the question they are asked is, “What have you done with your life, and how have you learned to love?”  Then they undergo a life review that is played all around them like a panoramic hologram. It’s understood that everything we do in life is recorded and that everything, including our thoughts, has a consequence.  Through a third party perspective they watch themselves go through their entire life – from the point of birth until the point of death. During this review they empathetically relate to all the people with whom they are interacting.  They see the perspective of others, and feel exactly what others feel, as if they shared their consciousness.  One thing stated from everyone who has had a near death experience is that life has nothing to do with fame, money, or earthly success.  The most important thing in life is cultivating loving relationships with others.

This is only a portion of the show.  To listen to the show in its entirety go to  Life After Death: Where Do We Go From Here?

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Moment to Moment: Living in the Present

Posted on October 7, 2011 by rand8492

 

We steal if we touch tomorrow. It is God’s. ~ Henry Ward Beecher

Life is a journey, a path we take to self discovery and higher learning.  Our dreams, wishes, and goals place us on this path and keep us moving forward.  Everyone embraces their journey differently.  Some set goals and aggressively beeline towards them.  Some take a more passive approach; hope, dream, pray, or simply wait.  Either way, most adults, those who have the will to live, continue to look toward a more promising future.

To many of us, what we have today never seems as satisfying as what we think we’ll have somewhere down the road when we reach our destination, the place where life will be all we’ve planned for or dreamed of.  Seeing our lives from the point of one destination to another means basing our ultimate happiness, fulfillment and contentment on an end result.  What happens when we reach our destination?  How long will we continue to feel elated with our accomplishment?  It won’t be long before the happiness of reaching that goal fades and another fulfillment fix is needed.

While looking for contentment, we find ourselves focusing on another goal and another goal and more after that.  Happiness can never be achieved when it is result oriented.  True happiness comes from living in the present; moment to moment.  Fulfillment comes from the process of getting there.  

In our high-speed world of technology and instant gratification we’ve grown impatient.   We’ve lost tolerance for the processes of life.  But nothing in life happens without a process.   If it did, we’d never learn and grow.  We have to  trust that life will take us exactly where we need to go as long as we step back and allow it to happen.  We have to teach ourselves the virtues of patience and acceptance; remind ourselves to savor the pleasure of anticipation.

In his book, The Tao of Pooh, Benjamin Hoff cites a passage from the story of Winnie the Pooh about Pooh being asked what his favorite thing is.  Just as he’s about to answer, “Honey,” Pooh stops to contemplate his answer.  “Well,” said Pooh, “What I like best” –“and then he had to stop and think.  Because although eating honey was a very good thing to do, there was a moment just before you began to eat it which was better than when you were (eating it), but he didn’t know what it was called.” 

Hoff writes, “The honey doesn’t taste so good once it’s been eaten; the goal doesn’t mean so much once it is reached; the reward is not so rewarding once it has been given.  If we add up all the rewards in our lives, we won’t have very much.  But if we add up the spaces between the rewards, we’ll come up with quite a bit. And if we add up the rewards and the spaces, then we’ll have everything – every minute of the time that we spent.

What we experience in this present moment is what’s most important. Think about the choices you make moment to moment, the tiny decisions that link together, form a chain, and steer your course of life.  Sure, you will encounter bumps and detours, but what you learn along the way is far more valuable and fulfilling than the end result of your goal. 

Whenever you catch yourself projecting toward, or focusing on what you need to do in the next fifteen minutes, in an hour, tomorrow, or next year, remind yourself to pay attention to the moment.  Look at the sky, look around you.  Notice who is nearby and what they’re doing.  Don’t let life pass you by, don’t rush through each moment on your way to something else.  Be present in your life.  Don’t try to anticipate what is going to happen next – you can’t possibly know.   Just live in the moment.

The road to destiny is long and winding.  Be sure to stop and savor the view as you ramble along the way.


 

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Best Life Quotes

Posted on September 25, 2011 by rand8492

A compilation of my favorite quotes about life:

“You can’t do anything about the length of your life but you can do something about its width and depth.” ~ Shira Tehrani

“Life is much like a joke, doesn’t make much sense, until it ends.” ~ Unknown

“The more sand that has escaped from the hourglass of our life, the clearer we should see through it.” ~ Jean Paul

“If ‘plan A’ doesn’t work out, don’t worry, you still have 25 letters left.” ~ Unknown

“To live a creative life, we must lose our fear of being wrong.” ~ Joseph Chilton Pearce

“We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are.” ~ Anaïs Nin

“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will spend its whole life believing that it is stupid.” ~ Albert Einstein

“I can’t change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination.”  ~ Jimmy Dean

“Perhaps our eyes need to be washed by our tears once in a while, so that we can see life with a clearer view again.” ~ Alex Tan

“Have courage to live. Anyone can die.” ~ Robert Cody

“Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.”  ~ Mark Twain

“Never let the things you want make you forget the things you have.” ~ Unknown

 “Expecting life to treat you well just because you’re a good person is like expecting an angry bull not to charge you because you’re a vegetarian.” ~ Unknown

“You have to hurt in order to know. Fall in order to grow. Lose in order to gain – because most of life’s lessons are learned in pain.” ~ Unknown

“When you say ‘yes’ to others, make sure you are not saying ‘no’ to yourself.” ~ Paulo Coehlo

 “What we have done for ourselves alone dies with us; what we have done for others and the world remains and is immortal.” ~ Albert Pike

“Just because it’s not what you were expecting, doesn’t mean it’s not everything you’ve been waiting for.” ~ Unknown

“Sometimes, perhaps, we are allowed to get lost that we may find the right person to ask directions of.”  ~ Robert Brault

“Life’s a marathon, not a sprint.” ~ Dr. Phil

“The only normal people are the ones you don’t know very well.” ~ Alfred Adler

“Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass; it’s about learning to dance in the rain.” ~ Author unknown

“There’s always some truth behind ‘just kidding’. Knowledge behind ‘I don’t know’. Emotion behind ‘I don’t care’. Pain behind: ‘It’s okay’.” ~ Unknown

“People never change. They just become more of who they really are.” ~ Unknown

 ”Life is not merely a series of meaningless accidents, or coincidences. No, but rather it’s a tapestry of events that culminate in an exquisite sublime plan.” ~ Serendipity

“When writing the story of your life, don’t let anyone else hold the pen.” ~ Unknown

“More people would learn from their mistakes if they weren’t so busy denying them.” ~ Unknown

“Life is a drawing without an eraser.” ~ unknown

“Giving up doesn’t always mean you are weak, sometimes it means you are strong enough to let go.” ~ Unknown

“The most important of life’s battles is the one we fight daily in the silent chambers of the soul.” ~ David O. McKay

“At one point in your life you either have the thing you want or the reasons why you don’t.” ~ Andy Roddick

“Life is like an ever-shifting kaleidoscope – a slight change, and all patterns alter.” ~ Sharon Salzberg

“Life is just a chance to grow a soul.” ~ Powell Davies

“The first forty years of life give us the text; the next thirty supply the commentary on it.”  ~ Arthur Schopenhauer

“The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make one.” ~ Elbert Hubbard

“The most important trip you may take in life is meeting people halfway.” ~ Henry Boye

“Life’s not always fair. Sometimes you can get a splinter even sliding down a rainbow.” ~
Cherralea Morgen

“View a negative experience in your life like how you look at a photo negative.  A single negative can create an unlimited number of positive prints.” ~ Unknown

“The most beautiful things in life cannot be seen or touched, they can only be felt with the heart.” ~ Helen Keller

“A person often meets their destiny on the road they took to avoid it.” ~ Jean de La Fontaine

“Just because something good ends doesn’t mean something better won’t begin.” ~ Sanj

“Don’t ask for an easier life; ask to be a stronger person.” ~ Unknown

“The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers.” ~ M. Scott Peck

“God doesn’t give you the people you want, he gives you the people you need. To help you, to hurt you, to leave you, to love you and to make you into the person you were meant to be.” ~ Unknown

“There are two great days in a person’s life: the day we are born and the day we discover why.” ~ Unknown

“Life is like a game of cards.  The hand you are dealt is determinism; the way you play it is free will.” ~ Jawaharlal Nehru

“If you can find a path with no obstacles, it probably doesn’t lead anywhere.”  ~ Frank A. Clark

“Most of the shadows of this life are caused by our standing in our own sunshine.”  ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

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